Un Amor Tan Grande
by Bedazzle Me
Summary: **PEN NAME CHANGE: Was Bite Beccy.** One night, one blissful night and then she was left alone, with a 4 percent miracle and a broken heart. WIP.
1. No such thing as a beautiful goodbye

**Title: Un Amor Tan Grande**

**Author: Beccy**

**Disclaimer: It's on my 'To buy when I'm rich and famous' list. Too bad that by the time I'm rich and famous the series would've already ended. All because SOME people don't know who to keep ;:cough:; Harm ;:cough:; and who to kick out ;:cough:; Vukovic ;:cough:;.**

**Summery: One night, one blissful night and then she was left alone with a 4 percent miracle and a broken heart. I suppose you could say it's my take on what would have happened if JAG had been signed up for another season. H/M FOREVER!**

**A/N: This came to me last night while I was trying to get to sleep. The next day at school this story was still rolling around in my head and wouldn't let me concentrate on what the teachers were saying, so when I got home I sat down in front of my computerand this is what I came up with. Hope you like it! Oh and keep in mind I have no idea how long it takes for a transfer to be approved yadda-yadda-yadda…Enjoy!**

**xxx **

If tomorrow never comes, I want you to know right now that I  
I'm gonna love you until the day I die  
If tomorrow falls asleep, can you hold me first?  
I'm gonna love you like it's the last night on Earth

'_Last night on Earth_' Delta Goodrem

**xxx**

**Chapter 1: No such thing as a beautiful goodbye.**

In a semi-awake state, Mac turned around and she was met with cold, empty air beside her. Quickly, she opened her eyes to find that beside her, there was indeed a vacant spot. She frowned and her heart began to beat wildly in her chest. Slowly she sat up.

"Harm," she called. Upon receiving no answer, she got up and began to search the apartment for him.

"Harm," she called, over and over again, but she never received an answer. She returned to her bedroom and flopped down on her bed. She felt tears begin to make their way down her face. She lay her head on the pillow he had used last night and breathed in deeply, smelling his scent, and closing her eyes trying to store away the smell forever. When she opened her eyes, she caught sight of a folded piece of paper with 'Sarah' written carefully in the middle, in Harm's handwriting, resting on her bedside table. She reached for it, unfolded it and began to read:

_My Dearest Sarah,_

_I look at you while I write this and I can think of only one thing…you look like an angel. The soft moonlight playing with your features, making your hair glow as if it was cradling a halo. I want you to know that you ARE an angel. My angel._

_I am truly sorry but I have to do this. I wish I didn't but I don't want to see you hate me when morning comes. I don't want to hate myself when I see hate reflected in your eyes, not what I'd wish it'd be…not love._

_I'm leaving Sarah. By the time you would've woken up and read this I'd be long gone. The General didn't like that I'd woken him up so early but he managed to have me transferred in an hour. If you everthink aboutme, remember that i'm the man who loves you, the man who has always loved you but wouldn't get off his high horse to tell you, the man who will continue to love you 'til the day of his death._

_I love you, Sarah MacKenzie._

_Goodbye,_

_Harm_

"I love you too, Harm," she whispered into the empty room. Quickly, she got up, wiped the tears that had fallen while she read, got dressed and headed out the front door.

**xxx**

Not thirty minutes later, Mac came bursting through the bullpen doors and was greeted with two or three people going about their routine. Without a second though, Mac almost ran to stand before those big oak doors and knocked.

The moment she heard a faint 'enter' waft through the door, she entered the small room. She stood at attention before him for a few seconds before she was told to sit down.

"What can I do for you on this fine Saturday morning, Colonel?" The General asked her.

"Where is her?" She asked, completely forgetting that he was her CO and of higher rank.

"I can't tell you," he said softly.

"And why the hell not?" She practically screamed.

He took a deep breath before answering. 'This is going to kill her,' he thought unhappily. "Because he asked me not to," he said softly.

No matter how much she tried to fight it, tears filled her eyes and threatened to overflow. She was almost positive that that was going to be his answer, but hearing him say it made it all that more real. Slowly, she began to nod. Each time she blinked, a fresh tear would make its way down her face. Quickly, she stood and took a few seconds to wipe away her tears and straighten her composure before she walked out of the General's office and towards her car. Once she entered the car she waited a few minutes, with her head resting on the steering wheel,before she put the gear into drive and made her way home, still fighting back tears.

**xxx**

He hadn't wanted to do it. He couldn't believe he was doing it. He was leaving everybody behind. All his friends…his soulmate. The woman he secretly loved and never had the guts to tell. The woman he had made love to only hours before. The woman whose heart he was breaking, and he had no idea he was doing it.

'It's for the best,' he thought. 'She doesn't feel the same way. She just wanted to comfort a friend in need.'

He gave the flight attendant a small smile as he grabbed hold of his boarding pass and started to make his way down the corridor towards the airplane. He stopped and looked around. He took a deep breath and turned back around. A tiny piece being chipped off his heart with every step he took.

**xxx**

**R 'n' R! Constructive criticism welcome. And if you get the chance, listen to the song above. It's great! I love it! You know what…just listen to her album 'Mistaken Identity'. The best!**

**BTW: If there is anyone out there with knowledge about the military rules and such who'd be willing to help me out every now and then tell me please!**


	2. My heart’s façade

**Title: Un Amor Tan Grande**

**Author: Beccy**

**Disclaimer: Not mine ;:sniff:;**

**Summery: After one night together, Harm leaves, leaving Mac crushed. Not long later, she finds out that even though a 4 percent chance seemed small, it's actually bigger odds than she expected. My take on what would have happened if JAG had been signed up for season 11.**

**A/N: Chapter two! I know it's short and I'm really sorry that, I just haven't had much time to write two stories let alone one lol. Review responses below. **

**xxx**

If I hide my pride and let it all go on  
Then they'll take from me till everything is gone  
If I let them go then I'll be outdone  
But if I try to catch them I'll be outrun

'_By Myself_' Linkin Park

**xxx**

**Chapter 2: My heart's façade**

On Monday morning, Mac awoke and went about her business as she would normally do. She walked into the bullpen with her head held high and her shattered heart hidden behind the walls she kept piled up. She'd been in her office a total of five minutes before Petty Officer Coates knocked on her door.

"Ma'am," Jen said standing at attention in front of Mac. "The General would like to see you."

"Okay, Coates, I'll be right there," she said dismissing her. 'Oh no,' thought Mac. 'Oh no, oh no, oh no! I can't believe I did that on Saturday!' She sighed a heavy sigh. Gathering all the courage she could she muster, she walked those few steps to the General's office and knocked on his door.

"Enter," said the General.

"Reporting as ordered, Sir," she said, as she saluted him.

"At ease," he said almost immediately. "Mac, take a seat. How are you feeling today?" he asked her.

"Fine, Sir," she answered simply. 'Hopefully he'll get the picture and leave me alone,' she thought to herself.

"Mac…" he said.

"I'm fine," she said firmly, looking him in the eye.

The General sighed. She wasn't going to admit how she really felt and he knew it. He hoped she'd at least open up to somebody before it became to much for her. He didn't want her to have to suffer if and when she burst.

"Okay, Colonel. You may leave."

"Aye aye Sir," Mac said getting up and saluting him, before turning on her heel and exiting his office.

The General stared at the door Mac had just left from. He shook his head and began to pray that this would have a happy ending, for Mac's sake.

**xxx**

**Well, there we go. Sorry bout it being so short.**

**1st reviewer:**Thanks for that…let's just say I borrowed an author's privilege card, lol.  
**Hemi Girl Racing: **I present you with more!  
**starryeyes10: **Thank you!  
**AnMaDeRoNi: **Yes, this is defiantly gonna be a Shipper fic. It probably doesn't look like it right now, but it is.  
**Snugglebug:** Thank you! I love it when people tell me that. It makes me feel special! ;:sheepish smile;:  
**Froggy0319: **Oh don't worry, this isn't how they're gonna end…trust me.  
**BiANcA: **Come on! It doesn't take THAT long to sign in, lol. Oh and Delta Rox! lol  
**Disaster Child: **Thank you!  
**Maulen:** Why did Harm leave? Well, you'll see. Hehehe.  
**hothing40: **Oh they will be together. Sooner or later.  
**martini1988: **Well right now, I'm not sure but I may need the advice later on. Thank you for offering.  
**JAGFANWI: **Thanks for your review.  
**KittyX: **Thank you for reviewing!  
**Lieutenantcolonelninjagir: **I am continuing, lol. Can I just say, I LOVE your name!  
**joanoa: **Have fun at Boot camp! Lol. And trust me, I also hope you'll be able to read then end of the story. I probably won't be done with it by the time you get back. Especially if I'm gonna do all that I've got planned. When do you get back anyway?**  
Wendy Kaye: **Thanks for the review! Makes me feel special!  
**aj: **You'll probably think it's a little OOC for Harm too. I tend to write (or think about) stories like that. Lol.  
**LiseGirardi: **Thank you. I'll fill the gaps as soon as I can.  
**CharmedAli: **I love her. My friend's think it's funny I like her so much. Actually, so do I. Lol.


	3. Memories

**Title: Un Amor Tan Grande**

**Author: Beccy**

**Disclaimer: Not mine ;:sniff:;**

**Summery: After one night together, Harm leaves, leaving Mac crushed. Not long later, she finds out that even though a 4 percent chance seemed small, it's actually bigger odds than she expected. My take on what would have happened if JAG had been signed up for season 11.**

**A/N: With JAG coming to an end I've decided to get this out as soon as possible so I'm putting my other story on hiatus and decided to work on this one done. Sorry it's taken me a while to get this out. I had it on paper but it's taken me a while before I could type it up. I've had a lot of studying to do. I had a maths exam last Friday (which I aced :)), a science one on Thursday and now I have to study for a biology one, another science one and a Lengua (Spanish) one. Then on the tenth it's my birthday and on the thirteenth I've got an excursion to an amusement park (which I'm a little freaked out about considering it's going to be Friday the 13th, LOL).**

**A/N 2: Thought you'd like to know, there's a character death in this chapter…don't worry it's not Mac or Harm. I hope this chapter clears a few things. ****So I'll quit rambling and let you read now. Review responses below :)**

**xxx**

Imagining, you're right here with me  
Thinking of, all that could be  
Imagining, you're gentle touch  
I'm missing you, oh so much

'_Imagining'_ Sarah Connor

**xxx**

**Chapter 3: Memories**

Mac walked back into her office and sat down on her chair. She took a couple of deep breaths to calm herself before she exploded into tears, again. She grabbed a tissue and dried the moisture that had formed in her eyes before they could fall and could create trails of salted tears down her face. She threw the tissue into the trashcan she had beside her table and began to do the paperwork she had piled on her desk. After spending an hour on the one piece of paper, she gave up.

Mac got up and went to the break room to fetch herself a cup of coffee. As she entered the room, the smell of coffee invaded her senses and she started to feel a queasiness in her stomach. She had just made it into a bathroom stall before she threw up the bagel she had eaten half-heartily that morning. Wiping her mouth with a bit of toilet paper, she leaned against the stall door. She flushed the toilet and walked towards the sink. She washed her mouth out with some water before drinking some. She turned off the water and leaned on the sink, her chin touching her chest. A drop of water on the corner of her mouth began to annoy her and she wiped it away with the back of her hand. She lifted her head and stared at her reflection in the mirror. The bags under her eyes were made more apparent against the paleness of her face. She pushed herself off the sink and dried her hands.

She walked back towards her office and closed the door behind her. She closed the blinds and sat on her chair in the darkness. Suddenly she was over come with a memory. The memory of that night…

**xxx**

_Mac sat on her couch, her feet curled up under her and a book in her hand. She looked up as she heard a knock on her front door. Placing the bookmark in her book and setting it on the table, she got up and opened her door after peeking through the peep-hole. A distraught Harm stood on the other side._

"_Harm, are you okay?" she asked._

_He just stared at her. His eyes were red and she could tell that he had been crying. She opened her arms and he walked into them. He hugged her tightly and he buried his face in the crook of her neck. His tears began to seep through the material of the USMC t-shirt Mac was wearing. _

"_Harm, talk to me," she said. _

"_She's gone, Mac," he whispered looking up at Mac. "She's gone and she's not coming back."_

"_Mattie?" she whispered, grabbing his face with both her hands. "When?"_

_He nodded. "An hour or so ago. God Mac! I already miss her," he said as the tears continued rolling down his face. Using her thumbs she wiped away the moisture from his cheeks._

"_Oh, Harm," she whispered, embracing him again._

_They stayed like that for a few minutes, in each others arms. Tears running down both their faces. After their tears had run dry, Harm looked up, and stared into Mac's eyes. He leaned down and brushed his lips over hers. He pulled back slightly for only a second before he crushed his lips together with hers. Clothes were left in a trail towards Mac's room._

**xxx**

A soft knock on Mac's office door awoke her from her memories. "Enter," she called softly.

"Ma'am," came the voice of Lieutenant Bud Roberts as he opened the door. "Permission to speak freely ma'am," he asked.

"Permission granted. What's up Bud?" she asked.

"Ma'am, are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine, Bud. Now what is it that you wanted to see me for?"

"Well, Harriet was wondering if you would like to join us for dinner on Wednesday night."

Mac was very tempted to say no but it had been a while since she'd seen Harriet and the kids. "Sure, Bud," she answered.

"Great," he said, smiling. "Is 8 o'clock alright with you?"

"It's fine Bud. I'll see you there," she said, as Bud turned and left her office.

**xxx**

**There we go…hope you all like the chapter. Next one up as soon as I can get it up. Now I was gonna ask you guys something but now I've forgotten…oh well.**

**CharmedAli: **Yes I am an Aussie! And I'm proud of it too. I'm living in Spain at the moment though :(. But I get to visit soon :).

**Froggy0319:** And I agree! I'm sorry for putting Strange and Stalking on hiatus. I'll update it as soon as I get some more inspiration.

**Hemi Girl Racing:** Thanks for reviewing! Hehehe…I love reviews! Hehehe.

**Joanoa: **Sorry for the shortness. It's really hard for me to write long chapters for some reason. A month and something of boot camp. That's torture man LOL. Have fun, hehehe.

**BiANcA: **Thank you.

**martini1988: **Ye, I realise I've gotta fill in a few gaps. A question though…what gaps do you think I need to fill in? I just wanna make sure I'll fill them all in. Thanks.

**starryeyes10: **Thanks!

**heartandy112: **LOL…what's it taste like? LOL.

**n.k: **Thanks.

**BelovedOne:** LOL. So do i.

**Nix707: **I'm glad you're looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to writing it and to getting more of your reviews LOL.

**LGraziano: **Well, I AM crazy…but I'm not like THOSE crazy people, LOL. I happen to love happy endings. Especially shippy ones LOL.

**snugglebug: **You seem to share the same fear as everyone else LOL. Yes this will end happily LOL.

**aj: **I'll try but I'm not very good at writing long chapters. I'll try though.

**marineJAG: **Thank you. I like your name BTW.

**Elizabeth Ayers: **Thank you.

**Oh ye! That's it! If anyone has any ideas on what I could add to this story it would be greatly appreciated! I just wanna make it long :P…until next chapter…**


	4. Sickness

**Title: Un Amor Tan Grande**

**Author: Beccy**

**Disclaimer: Not mine ;:sniff:;**

**Summery: After one night together, Harm leaves, leaving Mac crushed. Not long later, she finds out that even though a 4 percent chance seemed small, it's actually bigger odds than she expected. My take on what would have happened if JAG had been signed up for season 11.**

**A/N: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! Wasn't the series finale the greatest? I loved it. I'm so happy that they finally got together! I must admit I'm a bit mad that I didn't get invited to the wedding but anyway! LOL. **

**A/N 2: I'm using Author's privilege here. I've got the memory of Dory from Finding Nemo so I can't remember much about the episode 'San Diego' so I'm just going to make up what I don't remember okay! Cool.**

**Review responses below :)**

**xxx**

Como entender, soñar con algo que la vida te ha prohibido  
Amar a alguien sin poder gritar 'te quiero'  
El deseo de ignorar un sentimiento  
Es igual que pretender, parar el viento  
Y yo no se que voy a hacer

'_Un amor tan grande'_ El Arrebato

**xxx**

**Chapter 4: Sickness**

On Tuesday morning, Mac awoke feeling queasy in her stomach. She rolled over and tried to will the queasiness away, but it didn't budge. She got up and padded to the kitchen to start the coffee machine, all the while ignoring her stomach. Before long, the sweet scent on the coffee brewing filled the air, and all that seemed to do to her was make her feel queasier, so she turned off the coffee machine and entered her bathroom to get ready for the day ahead. Unfortunately for her, the scent followed her into the bathroom and as each second passed Mac's stomach grew even more unsettled, until she found herself quickly taking those few necessary steps to reach the toilet and throwing up the contents of her stomach.

A few minutes passed and Mac pushed herself away from the toilet bowl and cleaned her mouth out with water. She checked her internal clock to find out that she was late for work so she hurried about her apartment gathering what she needed at supersonic speed.

Mac arrived at the office in record time with just enough time to set her briefcase on her table before she entered the conference room with the General right on her tail. She managed to still through the meeting with her still slightly queasy stomach and she was just about to leave room behind everyone else when the General called her back.

"Colonel, may I have a moment?" he asked her gesturing to her now vacant chair.

"Yes sir," she said sitting back down.

"Earlier this morning I received a call from an Admiral Peterson in San Diego. It seems that they have an opening for a JAG judge and he would like you to fill it."

Mac stared at him as if he'd grown another head. "Excuse me, sir?"

"Colonel, I advise you to take the spot. It'd give you the chance to heal," he said softly. "It's also a huge stepping stone in your career."

Mac looked at him through her long lashes. "Can I think about it?" she asked.

"Sure. Just give me an answer by this time Thursday morning."

Slowly Mac got up of the chair and gave the General a salute. She turned to leave and was almost out the door by the time the General spoke again.

"And if you do agree, you will be promoted to a full colonel," he spoke softly. "But don't let that influence you too much."

A second later she was out the conference room door and making her way towards her office to get started. She shut the door behind her and closed the blinds. She sat on her chair and cradled her head in her hands.

"What am I going to do?" she whispered to herself.

**xxx**

The rest of Monday went by quickly. Around lunchtime Mac began to feel queasy again but it went away after she ate a couple of salted biscuits. She won in court that day against Sturgis and he had invited her out to celebrate but she turned him down. She didn't feel like celebrating anything. She had thought her client guilty but still she did her job to the best of her ability and now he was free.

Mac walked out of the building and into her corvette. Sliding into the driver's side and dropping her briefcase into the passenger seat she sighed heavily. It had been a long day and she was glad it was over. She had lost count on the number of times she'd looked towards Harm's office today and had seen the lights out. It had been then when she would remember that he was gone, he had left because of her. She shook her head, trying to shake away her memories but it was no use. She started the car and drove home…tomorrow would be another day.

**xxx**

**What'd ya think?**

**cmdrchasenovack:** Thank you. Glad you like it. I aim to please after all LOL

**froggy0319:** I think you already know if Mac's going to preggers after all I gave a pretty big clue in the summery. I'm thinking I'll get back to the Stargate one after I finish this. Is your TV alive? My computer is so I'm guessing your TV is too. I'm just a bit mad that I didn't get invited to the wedding LOL.

**Cristina: **Shipperiness is a word to me! Especially when Harm and Mac are behind the reason for you saying it. LOL

**dansingwolf: **I know. Do you see any more gaps I should fill?

**Xox Mackenzie xoX: **Well here it is…the next chapter LOL.

**majorkawalsky: **Awww! Thanks! I'm hoping it won't stay so sad, but it's probably going to get even sadder before it gets happy…so be ready!

**aj: **Thank you! It's nice to know I can portray her well, I was a bit nervous about making her out to be un-Mac-ish LOL.

**snugglebug: **Thank you! Just to let you know I have been reading your story I just couldn't be bothered these last few days to review LOL…glad you could though.

**Hemi Girl Racing: **Thanks! I'm really really glad you like it!

**Wendy Kaye: **Originally I wasn't going to write Harm's thoughts but I've been thinking that every now and then I'll add a chapter filled with Harm and what he's up to. How's that? And of course she's going to figure that out! LOL

**marineJAG: **That's what I was hoping LOL. Harriet's defiantly going to detect something wrong with Mac…and it's a good thing too! I hope you like what I've got planned with Harriet.

**starryeyes10: **Thank you!

**CharmedAli: **Damn right we rule! LOL. Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi! LOL

**Radiorox: **Yep! I agree LOL! I'm so glad you like my story! You have no idea how happy I got when I saw that you had reviewed seeing as you're one of my favourite author's on this site. Just a question, are you going to keep on writing JAG?

**Thought you guys would like a translation of the 'slice-of-song' I gave you today. Basically it says:**

How to understand, to dream with something life has prohibited  
To love someone without being able to scream 'I love you'  
The wish of being able to ignore a feeling  
It's like trying, to stop the wind  
I don't know what I'm going to do.

**And just out of curiosity…what would you guys have rathered…if Mac had gone to London or if Harm had gone to San Diego? I know what I would have wanted but I want to know what you guys would have wanted. Until next time…**


	5. Coffee and Tears

**Title: Un Amor Tan Grande**

**Author: Beccy**

**Disclaimer: Not mine ;:sniff:;**

**Summery: After one night together, Harm leaves, leaving Mac crushed. Not long later, she finds out that even though a 4 percent chance seemed small, it's actually bigger odds than she expected. My take on what would have happened if JAG had been signed up for season 11.**

**A/N: I am now officially 15 years old now :D yay! I wanted to get this up by my birthday but I just couldn't find time. I tried to get it up yesterday but my compter wouldn't let me :(. Anywho! The story:...**

**Review responses below :)**

**xxx**

En la sala de un hospital  
De una extraña enfermedad  
Mi corazon  
Esta muriendo de pena y dolor  
Porque no tiene tu amor

'_Ay Amor' _Victor Manuelle feat. Hector y Tito

**xxx**

**Chapter 5: Coffee and Tears**

On Wednesday morning, Mac awoke feeling ten times better than she had on Tuesday. That feeling lasted until she could smell coffee 10 minutes later. In a total of five seconds, she had made it to the toilet and she was ridding her stomach of its content. A few minutes later, she got up, tears streaming down her face.

'What's happening to me?' she thought.

Quickly, she washed her face and brushed her teeth. As she brushed her hair, the phone rang.

"Hello," she said after running to pick it up.

"It's Webb," a voice responded from the other side of the phone.

"What do you have for me?" she asked happily, thinking he had news.

"Well…we found him."

"Yes!" she shouted jumping around. "Where is he?"

"I, uh…I can't tell you."

"What?" She shouted. "You've _got_ to be kidding me? But you know where he is! Why can't you tell me Webb? Why?"

"He doesn't want to be found Mac. He wants to be left alone especially from…" he stopped short and Mac's heart gave a jump of fright.

"Especially from who, Clay?" she asked, even though in her heart, she knew who.

"From you, Sarah. I'm so sorry."

But it was too late. What was left of Mac's heart shattered into thousands of pieces. She couldn't believe it. She had used up all her resources, called in all the favors she could and yet no one would tell her where he was. Tears fell from her eyes as rain drops would from the sky. Hanging up softly, sobs began to wrack her body.

**xxx**

Mac walked into the bullpen a few minutes late. It had taken her half an hour to calm down and re-do her make up. As she walked towards her office, a few people looked up and smiled at her. She didn't acknowledge any of them, truth being she didn't even see them, she just walked on by, feeling only the hollowness of her heart. She threw herself into her paperwork and didn't come out for a breather until it was time to leave and go home to get ready for dinner at the Robert's.

**xxx**

Mac stood in front of the Robert's door, debating with herself. Half of her wanted to run and hide while the other half wanted to stand her ground and fight like the marine she was. By knocking on the front door, she would be agreeing to fight and she wasn't sure if she could do that. Fate decided for her as the door opened and before her stood a chubby five year old with a big grin on his face.

"Hey there handsome," she said crouching down and opening her arms wide, all the while grinning back at him.

A split second later, a small, warm body wrapped itself around Mac.

"Hiya Auntie Mac!" the bindle exclaimed happily.

"How've you been AJ?" Mac asked her godson as her extracted himself from her.

"I'm great Auntie Mac!" he replied with enough joy to light up a Christmas tree. "Guess what!"

"What AJ?"

"Mummy let me stay awake so I could see you! I missed you sooooooooooooooooo much Auntie Mac!" he exclaimed loudly as he once again launched himself into Mac's arms. Picking him up, Mac walked through the threshold.

"Hey Harriet," Mac greeted.

"Hello Ma'a-Mac," Harriet stumbled.

Mac smiled, "It doesn't seem to get easier does it?"

Harriet smiled, "No it doesn't."

"Where's Bud?" Mac asked after searching the room for him.

"Oh he's upstairs reading Jimmy a story. He couldn't get to sleep."

"Maybe I should put this guy to bed too," Mac said after she saw that little AJ had fallen asleep in her arms.

Shifting AJ slightly so she could see in front of herself, she began to slowly make her way upstairs. After reaching the top, she took the necessary few steps towards AJ's bedroom and tucked him into bed.

"Auntie Mac?" AJ asked just as Mac was about to leave the room.

"Yes honey?" Mac replied softly.

"You're not gonna leave like Uncle Harm did, are you?" he asked innocently.

Tears enclosed Mac's throat and she was unable to respond for a full minute. When she finally spoke, she looked directly into little AJ's expectant eyes.

"No AJ, I won't."

"Okay. 'Night Auntie Mac," AJ said happily.

"'Night AJ," Mac replied sadly.

**xxx**

In a room of a hospital  
From a strange illness  
My heart  
Is dying of sorrow and pain  
Because it doesn't have your love

**3 pages…getting longer…**

**froggy0319: **I wish we'd seen more too! A few more little kisses, a wedding LOL. San Diego? I'd rathered they go to London but truth being San Diego weather is probably better and it is better for Mattie…oh well, I still think London LOL.

**shalimar2: **LOL ;cough; of course ;cough; LOL…or is she!

**jamie: **LOL I'm sorry this chapter's small but I promise next chapter's going to be a lot longer! LOL

**jaka: **Go the questions LOL. That's probably what everyone else wants to know and if I tell you is won't be suspenseful will it? LOL. I will tell you this though…it will most defiantly have a happy ending!

**martini1988: **I agree! (It's probably only going to come up as one but I just put a couple hundred thousand exclamation marks on LOL) Though I'm not too sure about Mattie giving her dad another chance…hmmmm.

**CharmedAli: **You're probably not using the same program as I am. I use eMule, Download it from www. downloads. com and type in eMule in the search bar. It's really good. It downloaded the finale in a couple of days.

**Radiorox: **Good! And I'll have you know I still am reading the thin line…I just haven't been bothered reviewing :D. But since you're so nice and are going to continue writing JAG and are reviewing me, I'll start reviewing again :D.

**Kyizi: **I never thought about it that way. Hmmm, makes me think.

**starryeyes10: **Thanks.

**marineJAG: **I'm glad! She's plays a major part in this story. She is Harriet after all, she is special :D

**Bail's Other Daughter: **Glad you like it :D

**Sarah: **LOL, I agree with going to London. It's seems right :D.

**Next question: What song to you think fits best with Harm and Mac? It doesn't have to be one I've put at the beginning of a chapter.**


	6. Miracles don't happen to medo they?

**Title: Un Amor Tan Grande**

**Author: Beccy**

**Disclaimer: I'll swap ya! I'll swap you the pain in my shoulder's for them. No? Why! ;:sniff:; O-okay...Nope. Not mine :;hiccup:;**

**Summery: After one night together, Harm leaves, leaving Mac crushed. Not long later, she finds out that even though a 4 percent chance seemed small, it's actually bigger odds than she expected. My take on what would have happened if JAG had been signed up for season 11.**

**A/N: I got my shot's done yesterday. Two actually, for tetanus and meningacocol...my shoulder's hurt sooooooooooooooooo much! The Tetanus shot is killing me right now. I need something to take my mind off it...though i don't think typing is a good idea...it just hurts more...oh well. And another thing, I'm supposed to be studying for the 3 exams I've got tomorrow and doing my 2 assignments. Lucky lil' devils LOL...To the story!**

**A/N2: I don't know if Harriet knows about Mac's illness, but for the sake of the story...she doesn't. Major clue there :P.**

**Review responses below :)**

**xxx**

I'll be your angel, in your darkest night  
I'll be your destiny, waiting by your side  
I'll be your sunshine, when you're feeling blue  
I'm always here, for you

_'Angel' _Chiara

**xxx**

**Chapter 6: Miracles don't happen to me...do they?**

Mac slowly walked down the stairs. AJ's question had reminded her of something she had to ponder long and hard. Would…could she go to San Diego. Could she leave all this behind and have a fresh start. Could she leave all the memories behind and try to start a new life, a new life without Harm. Maybe the General was right. Maybe this was the best way to try and forget about him…or at least try and stop loving him. Deep down she knew it was impossible, but she still had to try. She couldn't just not try and live the rest of her life without trying to mend her broken heart. But she couldn't leave everyone behind. She loved everyone here, they were like her family. She just didn't know what to do.

"Mac? Are you okay?" asked Harriet from beside the stairs.

Mac looked up, a startled look on her face. "Yeah, I'm fine Harriet."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, i am."

"Okay. Come on, let's get eating then. Bud's starving and i can't say he's the only one," Harriet said with a laugh.

**xxx**

Laughter could be heard from the dining room table. Jolly laughter. Mac hadn't laughed like that in a long time. Even though she was having fun, she still had that little voice inside her head that kept reminding her of the decisions she had to make. Thankfully, she was able to ignore it. She felt alive, the happiest she'd been since before Harm left. Jokes came flying from Mac, Harriet and Bud. Though Mac could hardly understand Bud's jokes, she still laughed. What is it they say? Something about laughter being the best medicine? Oh well something like that.

"What goes black, white, green, black, white, green...?" asked Harriet, her eyes watery from the laughter.

"I don't know...what?" asked Bud, wiping tears off his cheeks.

"A nun rolling down a hill," Harriet answered as another round of laughter came to them.

"And what us black and white and goes 'ha ha ha ha'...?" Harriet inquired.

"Do i wanna know?" asked Mac.

"The nun that pushed her!"

Around 2200 the laughter had died down a bit, yet they were still wiping mirth from their eyes.

"So, who's up for coffee?" asked Harriet.

"Ummmm, not me thanks Harriet,"replied Mac, hoping that she wouldn't make any. She was feeling great and the last thing she needed was to begin to feel queezy again, and have Harriet ask her questions that she won't be able to answer.

"Sure, Honey," replied Bud.

'Damn,' thought Mac.

"I'll be right back."

A few minutes later, the scent of coffee made it's way towards the dining room and as if on cue, Mac began to feel sick to her stomach. Biting her lip, she tried to will away the queeziness, but it just wouldn't budge.

'Please not now! Not here!' she silently plead. 'Anywhere but here!' And amazingly, the queeziness went away...only to return once Harriet walked in with two cups of coffee.

"Excuse me," Mac said, covering her mouth with her hand and sprinting to the toilet. Harriet looked at Bud and shrugged before getting up and following Mac.

"Mac honey, are you okay in there?" Harriet asked as she softly knocked on the door.

"Yeah, peachy. I just threw up everything i just had for dinner but doesn't matter."

"Can i come in?"

"Sure."

Harriet slowly opened the door and walked those few steps to where Mac was sitting on the floor.

"Sorry. About being sick in your toilet and talking to you like that."

"It's okay..."

"No! It's not Harriet! I don't know what's gotten into me!"

"Has this happened before?"

Mac nodded. "Round about since Monday. I feel queezy when i smell coffee and a few seconds later I'm throwing up everything I've eaten that day."

"Mac, ummmm...do you think..."

"Spit it out Harriet come on."

"Do you think that maybe you could be pregnant?" Harriet said in a rush.

It took a few minutes for Mac to react. She just stared at Harriet, her mouth opening and closing like a fish. Blinking rapidly, she came out of her daze.

"I doubt it Harriet. I sincerely doubt it."

"You never know Mac. Everything's possible."

"Not with me Harriet. If my some chance i am pregnant, that itself would be a miracle."

Harriet smiled. "All babies are miracles."

"No," Mac said, shaking her head sadly. "You don't get it Harriet. I've got endometriosis. I've got less than a four percent chance of _ever_ conceiving," Mac spoke and suddenly her body was overcome with sobs.

"Oh Mac!" Harriet exclaimed, hugging her closely. "I didn't know. I'm so so so sorry."

"It's okay," Mac said sniffling.

"But still Mac...there's still a chance. It might be small but it's still there."

"No Harriet, miracles never happen to me. I've never had something good happen in my life. Something that sticks."

"It still can't hurt to try can it?"

Mac sighed. "No. I suppose not."

**xxx**

**Well then... another chapter done. Don't forget to R 'n' R people. So...question time...what do you rate this story out of 10 (10 being the highest)**

**shalimar2: **Thank you! Words of praise...love 'em! hehehe

**Abigaile: **I think so, too. LOL, now it's in my head!

**Rocket Rain: **I loved being thirteen! It was my favourite year of my life! What i wouldn't give to turn back the clock... hehehe. But yeh, fifteen's okay too i guess. I have a feeling you're right LOL. It doesn't matter that you didn't review before, you're reviewing now right?

f**roggy0319: **Oh don't worry, he does it to me too LOL. Oh! My stories make people 'feel'...so cool:D

**jaggurl: **Well i think this is the quickest I've ever updated this story.

**deb:** Thank you! I'm trying to make it as realistic as i can. Too bad it's a little OOC...but it doesn't matter hehehe.

**Ch****armedAli: **hahaha...Thanks LOL.

**crazybum964: **Thank you! So glad you can't pull my ear! he he

**Radiorox:** Really? I didn't know that. What a coincidence, nah? Cool :D 2 really good songs! Love them both.

**Starryeyes10: **Thanks a bunch mate. ;:kisses:;

**doro: **THANK YOU! I never get tired of hearing people congratulate me hehehe. I haven't heard Michael Balton's song but i have heard the other two and they rock! LOL. Yeh, You and me was used in the series finale preview...i don't live in the US either but I've had alotta people telling me LOL.

**snugglebug: **Thank you. I'm glad you liked it. He he he. Can I ask you a favor? If i ever need any info on endometriosis could you help me out please?

**Macandharmlover: **Glad you love it! Now that would be telling and if i tell you, you won't read anymore...and that's so not good:P

**Martini1988: **definitely! Wouldn't have it any other way...but most of the story is gonna be kinda sad :( I think...ya never know what my muse is up to...

**;:weird commentator's voice:; Tune in next time on...Un Amor Tan Grande!**


	7. Tests and forgetfulness

**Title: Un Amor Tan Grande**

**Author: Beccy**

**Disclaimer: What do you think?**

**Summery: After one night together, Harm leaves, leaving Mac crushed. Not long later, she finds out that even though a 4 percent chance seemed small, it's actually bigger odds than she expected. My take on what would have happened if JAG had been signed up for season 11.**

**A/N:I knowI told someone thatI was going to upload a new chapter a couple ofdays ago and I am soooooooooooooooooooo sorry that I didn't update when I said I would it's just that I don't know how I did it but somehow I deleted the chapter from my computer and start it all over again from scratch. I wrote this as fast as I could so in truth it's not as good as it was last time…nothing I can do about that though.**

**Review responses below :)**

**xxx**

Undo this hurt you caused  
When you walked out of the door  
And walked outta my life  
Uncry these tears

'_Unbreak my heart'_ Toni Braxton

**xxx**

**Chapter 7: Tests and forgetfulness**

After her conversation with Harriet, Mac decided it was best that she went home. She crept up the stairs and quietly gave each of the children a kiss on the forehead. After she had gone back downstairs and said goodbye to Harriet and Bud, she left their home and walked to her car. She sat in the driver's seat and began the engine. As she began her way home, she turned on the radio only to turn it off again a few seconds later. The rest of her drive home was in silence.

**xxx**

Once home, Mac flopped down on her couch and sighed heavily. She thought back to her conversation with Harriet and couldn't help but feel a tiny bit of hope pull on her heart strings. What if she was pregnant? What if she had proven the odds wrong and made the number four seem much bigger than it was in reality? She could help the smile that appeared on her face. She tried not to get her hopes up but she couldn't help it. She needed to find out if she was pregnant before her hopes became so high that if they were crushed, she wouldn't be able to hide the pain she would have in her heart. A pain just that tad bit worse than the loss of Harm. Well, not really a loss but it might as well have been. No one would tell her where he was, what he was doing, if he was okay! And then another thought crept into her mind.

'If I am pregnant,' she thought, 'that would mean Harm's the father. Webb would then _have_ to tell me where he is! But what if he doesn't? What if he still doesn't tell me and Harm breaks a promise he promised himself? What if the baby grows without his father? Okay, I have to stop thinking about this. I _need_ to find out if it's true.'

She looked around her apartment and her eyes fell on the set of keys which she had dropped on the coffee table just before flopping down on her couch. She licked her dry lips, got up and grabbed her keys. She then exited her apartment, locking the door behind her, and repeatedly pressed the button that makes the elevator rise up to her floor. She tapped her foot against the floor and made the split-second decision of taking the stairs instead. She quickly ran down the stairs, getting slightly dizzy in the process, and flung open the apartment building door. She looked left and right, forgetting where she had parked her car, and strode towards it once she caught sight of it. Putting the key in the lock and opening the door, she sat in the driver's seat for the second time in fifteen minutes. She fumbled for a minute while she searched for the right key and gave a triumphant cry when she found the right one. She was so nervous her hands were shaking slightly.

Mac started the ignition and drove out of her parking spot. A few minutes later, she stopped at a red light. Anxiously, she tapped her short fingernails on the steering wheel. She stared at the traffic light and tried to will it to turn green. She sat at that traffic light for a total of ten seconds, but to Mac, it felt like eternity and a second more. At last the light turned green and Mac practically floored the accelerator in her haste to get to her destination.

A total of ten minutes later, Mac sat before a big neon light. She turned off the engine and slowly got out of the car. Her adrenaline seemed to have worn off and nervousness had taken its place.

'What am I so nervous about?' Mac thought. 'I just go in there, buy a test and get out. Easy-peasy.'

Mac opened the car door and stepped out of the car. She shut the door behind her and made her way to the 24 hour chemist entry. She stepped through the sliding doors and heard a low ding signaling her entrance. She nodded a greeting to the cashier and went to the first isle. She scanned the items on the shelves as she slowly walked by. A couple of minutes and a few isles later, Mac found the right isle.

'You've got to be kidding me!' she thought to herself.

She looked before her and saw a shelf full of different brands of pregnancy tests. She scanned each and everyone of them with a confused expression on her face.

'And how am I supposed to know which one I have to choose?'

She shook her head and spent the next half an hour deciding on which brand to buy. When she finally made it to the check-out counter, she held in her hands three different brands of tests. The cashier smiled at Mac as she scanned the prices of each test.

"There are too many brands don'cha think?" she said kindly.

"Yeah, I didn't know which one to choose."

"Yeah, that happened to me the first time round," the cashier said nodding her head. Then she picked one of the tests and said, "This is the brand I used all three times I've been pregnant. It always gave me an accurate reading." She finished talking as she slid the last pregnancy test into a plastic bag. "That will be $6.90 thanks."

Mac handed over a $10 note and waited for the cashier to hand her back her change. She smiled at her in a farewell and left the store, hearing a low ding as she stepped through the doors. Mac walked back over to her car, holding the plastic bag tightly in her hand. She unlocked the car door and slid into her seat, placing the bag on the passenger seat. She started the car and drove back home, slightly calmer than she had been on her way to the chemist.

**xxx**

Fifteen minutes later, Mac parked her car in the spot nearest to her building as she could find. She laid her head against the head rest and closed her eyes. Her eyes burned slightly behind her eye-lids. She stayed in that position for a few minutes, just trying to relax a bit, before a light rapping on her window startled her. Opening her eyes quickly and spinning her head towards the window, she started to roll the window down.

"What can I do for you officer?" asked Mac as she saw the figure standing just outside her car.

"Ma'am, I was just wondering if you were okay. You parked a while ago and I didn't see you get out and I was getting a bit worried," the police officer answered Mac.

"I'm okay. I guess I must've spaced out."

"It's alright ma'am. I'm sorry to have disturbed you."

With that, the police officer tilted his head forward in a goodbye and walked away. Mac turned to the car seat and decided to grab one test. She would use the others depending on the results. She climbed out of her car and locked the door. She looked left and right before crossing the street.

Once she was inside her apartment, she placed the keys on her coffee table and quickly made her way towards the toilet. She read the instructions and quickly did as it said. Once she was done, she walked back into her living room and set the test down on a coaster which was on the coffee table. She then laid on the couch, in a fetal position and rested her eyes while she waited the three minutes necessary. Unfortunately, one minute and fifty-three seconds later, she fell asleep.

**xxx**

The next morning, Mac woke up with a start. She blink a couple of times, trying to make her way out of the fog that filled her mind. Suddenly, her internal clock kicked in reminding her that she had ten minutes before she had to leave for work. Jumping off of the couch, she ran to her room to change into her uniform. Then she ran to the bathroom to quickly brush, and put up her hair. Then she grabbed her keys and briefcase and headed out the door in a rush, completely forgetting about the test sitting on the coffee table.

**xxx**

**All done! What do you guys think? 3 pages…the longest yet I think…**

**New question: Does anyone seem out of character to you? Or is there anything you think wouldn't really happen?**

**Thanks for your lovely reviews everyone!**

**Series addict: **Thanks for the rating. I honestly didn't expect anyone to rate it a 10 but that you for being the first.

**Froggy0319: **'…God blessed the broken road,  
That lead me straight to you…'

I love that song! It's great! Really well fitting. Thanks for the rating!

**Radiorox: **lol, I happen not to like coffee but as people keep telling me, I'm still young, I'll probably end up a coffee junkie myself :POh and I read your latest chapter but I didn't have time to review it. I loved it! So much tenderness!

**Cristina: **Thank you! And maybe it will, maybe it won't…

**Snugglebug: **Thanks. I was a little apprehensive about asking you that but I'm glad I did. If you don't feel up to answering anything just tell me okay? I'll email you when I have a question. ;:BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG KISSES:;

**CharmedAli: **lol. It _is_ kinda obvious ay! lol. Thanks for the rating.

**Aj: **Thanks! Honesty is great. I would like to make the chapter's long but lately I haven't had the time. I'll try as soon as I get the summer holidays.

**KittyX: **Thank you!

**Starryeyes10: **Thanks!

**Emma: **Thanks you sooooooo much! Love it when people boost up my confidence! It makes me feel so much better for writing this :P.

**Don't forget to r 'n' r! Next chapter up a.s.a.p!**


	8. What the?

**Title: Un Amor Tan Grande**

**Author: Beccy**

**Disclaimer: What do you think?**

**Summery: After one night together, Harm leaves, leaving Mac crushed. Not long later, she finds out that even though a 4 percent chance seemed small, it's actually bigger odds than she expected. My take on what would have happened if JAG had been signed up for season 11.**

**A/N:I went to the beach not too long ago and I got really sun burnt and I couldn't type 'cause it hurt…not I'm peeling and my back has two different colours xP. It looks weird.**

**A/N: I know I don't really update frequently but I'm going to start to try to get out at least a chapter a week, hopefully more. I'm going to Cadiz tomorrow so I won't be able to update for a while but when I come back I'll have a couple of chapters to post.**

**Review responses below :)**

**xxx**

I learned to take  
The good and bad and breathe  
'Cause although, we like to know what life's got planned  
No one knows when shooting stars will land  
'_Whatever will be' _Tammin Sursok

**xxx**

**Chapter Eight: What the...?**

Mac ran through the bullpen and into her office. She set her briefcase on her desk and sat down in her chair, resting her cheek on the desk. Fortunately, she didn't have to be in court until after lunchtime. She started to think about everything that had happened that past week and she suddenly bolted upright.

'Shit,' she thought. 'I have to answer the General today! Am I going to go to San Diego or not?' she asked herself. Once again she laid her cheek on the table and closed her eyes while she began to weigh out the pros and cons of going.

'If I go,' she thought. 'If I go and Harm returns to D.C I won't be here to see him. And that's not good 'cause I really want to see him. But the hours at San Diego are better and that'll be the best if I'm pre-' And then she bolted upright once again!

"The pregnancy test!" she whispered loudly. "God I forgot all about it!"

Mac got up off of her chair and grabbed her keys. She practically ran out of the building and into the car park. Opening the door, she spotted the pharmacy bag on the passenger seat. Then she remembered that she had bought more than one, just in case. She snatched the bag out of the seat and dashed back inside. She didn't even stop by her office to drop off her keys, she just walked right past it and straight into the ladies room. She chose the stall furthest from the door and entered, locking the door behind her. She unwrapped the test and pulled down her skirt. She sat on the toilet seat and waited…and waited…and waited.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me!" She shouted.

She got up off the toilet and pulled up her skirt. Unlocking the door, she stuffed the test back into it's little box and didn't know whether to take it back out into the bullpen and risk being seen with it or stashing it somewhere until she came back. After debating for a few seconds, she placed the box in the little gap in between the toilet and the wall.

She left the bathroom and went directly to the break room. Mac opened the cupboard the stored the cups and took one out. She filled it with water and gulped it down in one mouthful. Then she filled the glass up again and drank it, then again, then again, then again. Just when Mac was ready to burst, the water did it's job. Mac scurried to the Ladies room and entered 'her' stall. Reaching behind the toilet, she pulled out the plastic bag. She grabbed the box out of the bag and took the test. Once she was finished, she pulled the toilet lid down and places the test on top of it.

She left the stall and walked to the sink. Mac splashed some cold water onto her face and stared at herself through the mirror, until her internal clock told her it was time to check the results. She turned around and looked at the little test sitting on the toilet. She slowly made her way back into the stall. She picked up the box from where she had placed it on the floor beside the dunny. She reread the instructions to make sure she had done it right, and then she reread the results.

'If it changes colour, it's positive. If it doesn't, it's negative,' Mac read.

Taking a deep breath, she looked down at the test. She had laid it upside down so she slowly turned it over to see that little rectangle on the handle. Mac stared at it for a long time before the result registered in her mind. When it did, she flopped down on the seat.

Positive.

She was pregnant.

'But it can't be,' she thought. 'Can it?'

She turned around and pulled the last pregnancy test out of the bag. Quickly, she took the test again but the three minutes she had to wait before she could find out the answer was pure torture. Those minutes seemed to drag on forever. Those minutes seemed an eternity longer than the other three minutes had been. Finally, it was time to find out the results…

"ARGGG! FOR CRYING OUT _LOUD_!" Mac shouted, loudly.

The test read: Negative.

The door to the Ladies' room opened and in came Petty Officer Coates.

"Ma'am are you okay?" she asked. "I heard you shout." Jen's eyes spotted one of the pregnancy tests Mac had just taken, "I think some congratulations are in order, Colonel." She had seen the positive test.

"I wouldn't be so sure Petty Officer," Mac told her as she showed Jen the test that she had just taken, the test that read negative.

Jen was speechless. She had no idea what to say. She looked at Mac, to the test Mac held in her hands, to the test on the floor and then back to Mac.

"I don't know," Mac answered Jen's silent question. Then suddenly she remembered something. "Could you throw these away please?" Mac asked, handing Jen the tests.

Without waiting for an answer, Mac grabbed her keys and bolted out the door. She walked out of the bullpen and waited impatiently for the elevator to arrive. A short while later, the elevator arrived with a 'ding' and Mac got on, along with four other officers. Five minuted later, Mac got of the now empty elevator. A split second after the elevator opened, Mac had already gotten off of it and had run to her car. She opened the door and sat in the driver's seat, before starting the car and started to make her way home, where she had a already taken pregnancy test waiting for her on the coffee table.

**xxx**

**I'll do all tge review responses next chapter ok!**

**Cyah!**


	9. Review responses

**Here are the review responses for chapter 7:  
Doro:** Thanks for that hehehe. Nice to know you like my story…or was it just that chapter? LOL  
**ForensicFreak1988: **LOL, no that button wasn't missing so you're not going crazy or anything LOL.  
**cmdrchasenovak:** Sorry but you're going to have to keep on waiting LOL. I don't think I'm going to reveal it for another coupla chapters or so you're gonna have more than enough time to wait for it LOL  
**snugglebug: **Thanks! You're right about that! And I know I wanted to ask ya something but I can't seem to remember grr LOL.  
**Sydney Bristow: **THANK U!  
**CharmedAli: **I'm so so so so so sorry! I think I probably left this chapter for too long! And to top it off I didn't tell ya if she's preggers or not…I'm just evil aren't i? LOL  
**Nix707: **Thanks!  
**Radiorox: **LOL. If it means anything to ya I DO like the smell of coffee LOL. Actually I kinda love that smell. And dun worry Webb's not gonna do that…I don't think. Muses are funny little thingys!  
**Series Addict: **LOL sorry 'bout it but I just like to keep people on their toes LOL  
**starryeyes10: **Thank you!  
**Tina:** LOL it might happen LOL. But if it doesn't it won't be fast. I don't like it when a story is good and they finish it quickly…I like LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG stories LOL.  
**Kitty X: **LOL everyone says that. Truth is I don't really see that being out of character.  
**froggy0319: **Sorry mate but not gonna happen…or is it…? LOL  
**southernqt: **Nah LOL. I'm not from U.S.A. I'm from Australia actually LOL. I'm a bouncy kangaroo LOLz.  
**DrewAllen: **LOL  
**Cristina: **Oh! Thank you! Ya know you've got the same name as my neice! Only hers is spelt Christina…hehehe.  
**daisymh:** Thanks mate!  
**lily: **True but the thing is he feels that whatever she's going to say to him is just to make him feel better and that it's a lie. He doesn't know that she loves him too and love can make you think really weird things LOL.  
**Abigaile: **LOL Nah I'd rather have him say no and her break his nose LOL…but I don't know how that conversation is going to go down. We'll see once I've written it.


	10. The pain inflicted on the pain inflictor

**Title: Un Amor Tan Grande**

**Author: Beccy**

**Disclaimer: What do you think?**

**Summery: After one night together, Harm leaves, leaving Mac crushed. Not long later, she finds out that even though a 4 percent chance seemed small, it's actually bigger odds than she expected. My take on what would have happened if JAG had been signed up for season 11.**

**A/N: Hey everybody! I'm at my sister's house in Barcelona and she's got the net so I thought I'd give you guys an update instead of waiting until I got home (which only God knows when that will be).**

**A/N2: And a big thank you to Alex for the song idea! Lotsa kisses! And COOKIES!**

**Review responses below :)**

**Oh and I don't really like this chapter so if you review and tell me it sux I'll agree LOL.**

**xxx**

I wish I could forget your name, your face  
Your smile, your sweet embrace  
Your makin' it hard for me  
The days seem so long, the nights seem so cold

'_Hard for me' _Tamara Jaber

**xxx**

**Chapter 9: The pain inflicted on the pain inflictor.**

Harm sat on a brand new chair in his brand new apartment and couldn't help but let his thoughts wander. Actually, he had let his thoughts wander those few days ago when he got on that plane and they hadn't exactly come back. He was going to start his new job on Monday, as he had been given the week off to settle in and such, but so far he had spent most of the last couple of days just as he was spending this one, on the chair and thinking, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know he was thinking about Mac.

Did he make the right decision leaving so abruptly without saying goodbye? And it didn't matter how many times he reminded himself that he had left a letter, when he laid in bed at night, it never felt like enough. So there he was contemplating on calling her to say a proper goodbye, so she could hear all his reasons, so she could know why he did it. Even if he wouldn't be able to speak, he'd still get to hear her sweet voice.

But he'd never gathered up enough courage to do it, even when he knew she wouldn't pick up because she'd be at work. Frustrated, he got up off of the chair and made his way towards his new kitchen. He started the coffee pot and began to look for a mug. He had been so used to his kitchen back home and now that it was a different one, he could never find, in this case, a mug. It took him several tries of opening and shutting cupboard doors before he found the right one.

He set it next to the half full pot of coffee and proceeded to add some of the coffee to the mug. He picked the mug up and made his way back to his chair, but he didn't sit down, he turned and made his way to his bedroom to unpack a bit more. He grabbed one of the few boxes that he had had Bud and Harriet pack and send for him and opened it up. Clothes.

"Easy, simple and not something that would remind me of Mac…I hope," he said into the empty space before him.

He grabbed the first piece of clothing that was in the box and unfolded it. He grabbed a coat hanger and hung up the button up shirt. Fifteen minutes later, he was half way through the box. He reached in and grabbed the next item of clothing inside the box, only it wasn't his…it was Mac's. One of the t-shirts he had 'acciendentally' put in his travel bag at the end of an out-of-town assignment. He could remember that she had slept in it on that particular occasion. Normally she'd sleep in a greyish t-shit with 'Marine' written across it but that particular assignment she had had it in the wash and had taken the red, tight tee with her instead.

Harm unfolded it and brought it up to his face and took a deep breath. It smelled just like her. He crumpled onto the floor and did something he hadn't done in a while, yet Mac had done every night since he had gone, he cried. He cried 'till his heart ached. Cried until the tears ran dry. And then he continued crying, with the t-shirt pulled tightly towards his body.

**xxx**

**Short, I know. But I didn't know what else to write and that seemed like a good place to leave it off at. Oh and did I mention I've got OVER 100 REVIEWS! So happy 'bout that.**

**Review responses:  
THEJAG: **I hope I didn't make you wait for too long!  
**Tammy: **Thank you so much for that. I had no idea that could happen!  
**CharmedAli: **LOL Hope you're back from camp so you can read this, if not you can read it when you get back LOL but I'll miss your review!  
**Series Addict: **LOL Yes I am LOL Just kidding,  
**Doro:** It seems that everyone hates me after the last chapter LOL.  
**angie: **Dear reviewer, LOL. You have me a bit confused on the 'please review' bit but 'sall good LOL.  
**Alix33: **I hope not LOL. I never thought of that really. But you just gave me an idea LOL.  
**Abigaile:** LOL Or Trish talks to her…LOL  
**starryeyes10: **LOL thanks  
**ForensicFreak1988: **LOL I think I did LOL  
**Nix707: **Yay! You felt it! LOL. That made me feel good.  
**DD2: **Thank you so much!  
**daisymh:** Well I'm sorry 'bout this chapter being shorter than the other one. I'll try and make the next one longer I promise!  
**snugglebug: **Thank you!  
**froggy03189: **Maybe LOL.  
**Sydney Bristow: **LOL well you're going to have to wait for a little while longer LOL  
**marineJAG: **Thanks for the encouragement!


	11. San Diego? Or no San Diego?

**Title: Un Amor Tan Grande**

**Author: Beccy**

**Disclaimer: I dun tinking so!**

**Summery: After one night together, Harm leaves, leaving Mac crushed. Not long later, she finds out that even though a 4 percent chance seemed small, it's actually bigger odds than she expected. My take on what would have happened if JAG had been signed up for season 11.**

**A/N: Ummmm…none LOL. There's one in the story somewhere.**

**Review responses below :)**

**xxx**

I tried, to go on like I never knew you

I'm awake, but my world is half asleep  
I prayed, for this heart to be unbroken  
But without you all I'm going to be is, incomplete

'_Incomplete' _Backstreet Boys

**xxx**

**Chapter Ten: San Diego? Or no San Diego?**

Mac opened the door to her apartment and ran towards the coffee table. She grabbed the tiny test and stared at the little rectangle on the handle. She looked away and her hand tightened in the pregnancy test. She couldn't believe that this was happening to her. She looked back at the test, just to make sure she wasn't going crazy. There, in the small rectangle, was a swirl of blue and white. So did that mean she was pregnant or not?

On one side, it had kind of changed colour. It wasn't all white; there was some blue in it too.

On the other hand, it was still white. Just because some blue had crept in didn't mean anything…did it?

Mac stalked through her living room and straight into the kitchen. Once she had reached the bin, she stepped on the little pedal that opened the rubbish bin up and threw the test into the plastic bag with all her might. This was just plain annoying! One test said she was pregnant, one said she wasn't and the deciding test couldn't make up its mind.

'What do I do?' she asked herself. 'Do I buy another test? Would that other test be accurate? Or would it be like the other three tests? Or should I just make an appointment with a doctor instead? Their test _has_ to be accurate…right?'

In the end, she went back to JAG before anyone had noticed she had been gone too long. On the drive there she thought through her options. Thought through everything, if she was going to buy another pregnancy test or go to an OB-WYN, and if she was going to go to San Diego or stay.

Ten minutes later, she pulled up to the JAG parking lot and turned off the ignition. Silently, she got out of her car, locked the door and headed to the elevator. When she entered the bullpen, it was just as she had left it, bustling with people. Hopefully no one had noticed she had been gone. She walked towards her office and closed the door behind her. She sat on her chair and called the only person who could help her out with _both_ her problems. After a few rings, Harriet picked up the phone.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey, Harriet"

"_Ma'am! Have you taken the tests?"_

"Yes."

"_And...?"_

"I don't know Harriet."

"_I'm sorry Ma'a-c but I don't understand."_

"It's simple really. I bought three tests. One said I was pregnant--"

"_That's great Mac!"_

"I wouldn't be so quick Harriet. While one said I am pregnant, another said I'm not and the last one said I am but at the same time that I'm not."

"_My…"_

"This is so frustrating! What do I do Harriet? Do I buy another test or should I just go to a doctor?"

"_Well, I think it's best that you go to a OB-GYN. That way you'll know for _sure._"_

"Thank you. Ummm, Harriet?"

Harriet's smile could be heard over the line as she answered Mac's unasked question.

"_Her name is Dr. Angela Barer. She's my OB-WYN. She's really nice and I'm sure she'll be glad to help you."_

"Thanks Harriet, you're an angel."

"_Well I wouldn't go that far, but you're welcome."_

Harriet gave Mac Dr. Barer's number and address and they talked for a few more minutes before Mac brought up the topic of San Diego.

"Harriet, I need your advice."

"_What's wrong?"_

"Well, I've been given the opportunity of being a Judge and I don't know whether to take it or not."

"_Well Mac, it means regular hours which is the best thing that can happen to you if you are pregnant."_

"I know that. But you haven't heard everything…it's in San Diego."

There was a silence on the other side of the phone.

"_Mac, honestly…I think you should take it. It's only a five hour plane trip after all you know and you could come visit anytime. It's also a _huge_ opportunity for you and you'd be stupid to let it pass by you."_

"Thanks for that Harriet. You're right. You're absolutely right."

They talked for a few more minutes about the boys before they hung up. As soon as Mac had hung up with Harriet, she called Dr. Barer and set up an appointment. Then she reached to the surprisingly short IN pile and began to work. Not long afterwards, there was a knock on her door.

"Enter," she called.

"Ma'am," P.O Coates said as she entered Mac's office. "The General would like to see you."

"Okay Coates, I'll be right there."

A few minutes later, Mac stood before the General's oak door and knocked. After hearing a strong 'Enter' sound from behind the door, she opened it and walked inside. She stood at attention in front of the General's desk.

"Lt. Colonel Mackenzie reporting as ordered, Sir."

"Yes, Colonel. Take a seat. I hope you have come to a decision on the position in San Diego."

"I have, Sir. I've decided to take it," Mac said with certainty.

"Good choice Colonel."

"Thank you General."

"You leave in two weeks, that should be more than enough time to tie up loose ends. You begin in three weeks, a week after you arrive in San Diego. The military will provide you with a small, one bedroom apartment until you find one suitable for yourself. You're promoting ceremony (A/N: got a feeling that's not what it's called but anyway) will be held in the next few days. Congratulations, Colonel Mackenzie."

"Thank you, Sir."

"Dismissed."

"Aye aye, Sir."

**xxx**

**Snugglebug:** LOL Me neither :P

**Abigaile: **They will…just not yet LOL  
**froggy0319: **How can I do fluff when they're not together? LOL If you can answer me that I'll fluff up a chapter

**Shal:** This is one of the quickest times I've updated. Gotta be happy 'bout that!

**CharmendAli: **LOL I haven't heard that song yet! And I'm dying to hear it coz all my friends back home say it's great! LOL. Oh and I still haven't told you LOL

**Series addict:** LOL I loved your review! I hope you weren't seriously crying. If you were I'm sorry coz that wasn't my intention LOL. Hey? At least I updated quickly though hehehe.

**Nix707: **I will tell you…when my muse lets me. LOL

**Tati aka Trinity: **What can I saw? I luuuuuuuuuuuuuurve my cliff hangers LOL

**New poll! Been a while since I've had one. Ummm…oh yeah! Did you guys want her to go to San Diego or did ya want her to stay in Washington?**

**REVIEW!**


	12. Doctors

**Title: Un Amor Tan Grande**

**Author: Beccy**

**Disclaimer: It's mine! All mine…_NOT_**

**Summery: After one night together, Harm leaves, leaving Mac crushed. Not long later, she finds out that even though a 4 percent chance seemed small, it's actually bigger odds than she expected. My take on what would have happened if JAG had been signed up for season 11.**

**A/N:I AM SOOO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING SOONER! I've had this chapter sitting in the computer for a week and a half and I wish I had an excuse as to why I haven't updated but the truth is that I've been too lazy to do it. Once again I am SO SORRY!**

**Review responses below :)**

**xxx**

When I feel everything in my life's a mess  
And I can't lift my head up above the rest  
When all I touch I can't hold on to  
Then I cover my eyes and try to picture you

'_Last man standing'_ Lucie Silvas

**xxx**

**Chapter Eleven: Doctors**

Mac walked through the bullpen and stopped half-way. She turned back around and returned to General Creswell's office. She once again knocked on the oak door and entered. The General looked at her curiously but didn't say a word as he waited for her to tell him the reason of her quick return to his office.

"Sir," Mac began. "May I have tomorrow off? I've got some pressing issues that can't wait," she said coolly.

The General studied her carefully. He knew something was amiss with her but he couldn't do anything about it…except give her what she wanted. Sure, some would call it favouritism, but he just couldn't help himself. No matter how well she tried to hide it, he could see through her façade. Maybe it was a marine thing, but he could see her pain and he just wanted to erase it. In the short time that he had known her, she had already become like another daughter to him. He knew that Caddie (A/N: That's Gen. Creswell's daughter's name right? I can't remember if it is) already thought of Mac as her sister. He sighed.

"Alright. I'm willing to give you the rest of today and tomorrow off, but nothing more," he said with firmness.

"Actually, Sir, just tomorrow will do. But thank you for the offer."

"Is that all Colonel?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Then you're dismissed."

And with that, Mac turned on her heel and walked out of his office with a picture perfect military posture. As soon as she had left the office and shut the door behind her, her back slouched momentarily. She felt like she had the weight of the world on her shoulder's and she couldn't do anything to relieve herself of it. Quickly, she straightened herself out and went to her office. There she stayed all day, except for a half hour lunch break, doing as much paperwork as she could do without tearing her hair out. When she went up for air, she realised it was 2100 and she was the only person left in the bullpen.

**xxx**

The next day, Mac began making arrangements for her move to San Diego. She called the real estate agency to put her apartment up for sale and she called the movers to set a date and time for when they'd come and get her belongings. Her appointment was at 1400 so she had plenty of time to relax and think over everything that had happened in her life over the last two weeks.

At 1300, Mac left her apartment and made her way to the doctor's office. She parked her car in the spot closest to the entrance that she could find and made her way through the hospital. Seeing as she had thirty minutes before her appointment, she decided to stop by the cafeteria first and get a bottle of water. At 1400 on the dot, Mac was called into the doctor's office.

"The doctor will be right here to see you Ma'am," said the nurse kindly as Mac walked into the office.

"Good afternoon," Dr. Barer said as she entered her office. "You must be the Colonel."

"That would be me."

"Now you're here for a pregnancy test, am I right?" she asked.

"That'd be correct. I've taken a home pregnancy test…well three actually, but they all said different things so I thought this would be a more efficient way of finding out."

"How can there be three different outcomes? If you don't mind me asking."

"No, not at all. Well, one said I was pregnant, the other said I wasn't and the last one, well lets just say it wouldn't make up its mind."

"Well that's quite odd," the doctor said before handing Mac a cup. "Fill this with urine and we'll set an appointment for Saturday and I'll tell you the results then, okay?"

"That'd be great, thanks."

A few minutes later, Mac was in her car driving back to her apartment, those little butterflies fluttering about in her tummy.

**xxx**

**There we go another chappy! I have a question…more or less what happens in a promoting ceremony? I know that if I don't ask I'm going to do something terribly wrong LOL. And I don't know where some of these _crazy_ people got the idea of Harm being in San Diego. I just wanna say, he's not. Sorry to disappoint you, though it was a good idea. But Harm's mum lives there so…ya never know LOL.**

**Tati aka Trinity: **YAY! So we're on the same page LOL

**marineJAG: **Yeah well I'm not so smart as to just throw that in without her accepting…that is an idea though…lets see what my muse will come up with using that…probably nothing but aaaaaaaaaaaanyway LOL.

**Abigaile:** Yeah you're probably right I just couldn't come up with anything else LOL.

**Kippling croft: **LOL nice and direct LOL.

**Ady: **LOL everyone seems to want that! I might just send Harm to her…later. Or maybe not LOL. I'm an evil little person.

**Froggy0319: **LOL, I hope she's pregnant too LOL.

**Nix707: **LOL ;:winks back:; And I _still_ haven't said anything. I'm just evil aren't I LOL.

**CharmedAli: **I heard it! I love it! LOL!

**RadioRox: **I dunno you tell me LOL. It's alright, mate. It's kinda hard to review if you're not close to a computer is it LOL.

**Series addict: **And I still haven't solved it. Mwahahahahaha. Judge Mackenzie…like the sound of that LOL.

**Criminal Mastermind: **I don't think she's very famous but I know her and you know her so…LOL. Have you been talking to dansingwolf, series addict and abigaile? Coz you all asked me the same thing 'Is Harm in San Diego?' LOL.

**Dansingwolf: **I don't remember either LOL. Did ya reread it? Did I tell ya? I honestly can't remember LOL.

**Snugglebug: **Eeeeeevil little buggers LOL.

**DD2: **Thanks

**Starryeyes10: **'Ank you!

**Cai-wiggins:** I'm sorry I didn't update sooner! Forgive me? LOL

**Mckesha: **Sorry it's not soon but at least it's more LOL  
**highplainswoman: **Wow! That's the longest review I've ever gotten! LOL. You know your fic rings a bell…I think I've heard about it. I've probably even read it but I can't remember LOL, I'm very forgetful. I was going to keep it like the professional writers said…ya know about her getting command of her own team and all but I couldn't remember exactly what team it was so I'm sending her to San Diego all the same but as a judge instead…. Yeah, the title is Spanish actually…it means 'Such A Big Love' or 'A Love So Big' or something along those lines. I'm not the greatest at translating LOL. Anyway, I wouldn't mind reading what you have of 'Child of Mine'. I would've e-mailed you saying so but for some reason it hasn't let me sign in for the last few days.

**Mxfan214: **Thanks…wish I'd updated sooner though.

**Oh yeah and I also can't remember if Harriet had the twins or if she was just pregnant with them…stupid memory LOL. Any help?**


	13. No way!

**Title: Un Amor Tan Grande**

**Author: Beccy**

**Disclaimer: It's mine! All mine…_NOT_**

**Summery: After one night together, Harm leaves, leaving Mac crushed. Not long later, she finds out that even though a 4 percent chance seemed small, it's actually bigger odds than she expected. My take on what would have happened if JAG had been signed up for season 11.**

**A/N: Okay I decided to write this and get it up really quickly to try and compensate for always taking forever. I'm going to try my best to update more regularly but I can't promise anything 'cause i know myself and well… lets just say I'm _really_ lazy. But I do promise I'm going to try my best to do so. But just a heads up, the computer's been acting up lately and sometimes it goes especially nuts. Aaaaaaaaanyway, here's the next chapter!**

**Review responses below :)**

**xxx**

Forget me not, I ask of you  
Wherever your, life takes you to  
And if we ne-ver meet again  
Think of me ev-ry now and then

_'Forget me not' _Lucie Silvas

**xxx**

**Chapter Twelve: No way!**

The rest of the week passed quickly for Mac and before she knew it, it was Saturday and she was sitting in the Doctor's office waiting for Doctor Barer to enter the room with Mac's test results. Mac couldn't stop fidgeting in her seat, which was something entirely not-Macish but she was so nervous that she couldn't help it. The Doctor entered the room with a file open in her hand and a wide smile on her face.

"I have some good news!" the doctor told Mac, pausing for an effect.

"Out with it already," said an impatient Mac.

"You're pregnant."

"I-I am?" asked Mac, thinking her ears were playing tricks on her.

The doctor smiled softly, "You are."

Mac stared at the doctor, mouth agape. She definitely hadn't been expecting that. She'd told herself so many times that she wasn't pregnant that she had begun to believe it. Without her noticing, a tear rolled down her cheek.

"That better be a tear of joy," said Dr. Barer, the soft smile still in place.

"I-I…woah," said a dazed Mac.

The doctor chuckled and Mac grinned.

**xxx**

Half an hour later, Mac was at home sitting crossed-legged on her sofa. She still couldn't believe that she was pregnant…with Harm's child. The thought of Harm made her eyes glaze over with tears. She was going to have Harm's son or daughter and he didn't even know it and unless she found a way to find him, which she sincerely doubted, he would never know and the child would grow up fatherless, exactly what Harm would not have wanted. That thought alone made the tears in Mac eyes spill down her cheeks. A sob wracked her body and she laid down on the sofa, grabbing a cushion along the way and hugged it tightly to her body.

After the sobs had subsided and the tears had run dry, Mac picked up the phone and dialled a number.

"Hello?" asked the voice on the other side.

"Harriet? Can you come over, please? I've got something I want to tell you."

"Are you okay?" asked Harriet, worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm fine I just…I want to tell you something."

"Alright, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Okay, bye."

"Bye."

**xxx**

An hour later, Mac was crying onto Harriet's shoulder. Harriet had her in a comforting hug and was trying to soothe her.

"Shhhhh Mac. Don't worry. Everything will be okay. It'll all turn out fine, you'll see."

"I hope your right, Harriet. I really do," Mac whispered against Harriet's helpful shoulder.

"You have me Mac. I promise I'll help you through it all."

"Will you Harriet?" Mac asked, removing her head from Harriet's shoulder. "I'm going to be in San Diego. How are you going to help me from here?"

"I don't know," Harriet said sighing. "But we'll find a way."

"I'm so scared."

"I know honey. I won't lie to you. It's gong to be really hard, but at the end of it all when you hold your new born baby boy or girl in your arms and you see it's eyes looking back up at you, at that moment, you're glad you went through what you did. It's all worth it. I promise."

Mac smiled, "Thank you."

"What for? I haven't done anything yet," said a surprised Harriet.

"You've done more than you can imagine," Mac said as another tear rolled down her cheek.

"Oh, come here," Harriet said as she pulled Mac in for another comforting hug.

**xxx**

Mac spent the rest of the weekend trying to get a hold of Webb. When she called his home phone the answering machine picked up and whenever she tried to call his mobile it said he was out of range. The one time she tried to call his office, they said his whereabouts were classified which led Mac to believe that he must've been on an assignment. She cursed him for not being there when she most needed him.

More than once she found herself punching in Harm's phone number to find comfort, only to remember that he was the source of her problems and if she could just ring him, there wouldn't have been a problem to begin with. On both nights, she would stare out of the window with a tub of choccy choc choc ice cream, wishing that Harm would come back. She knew it was fruitless to wish for that because she knew he wouldn't return, but there was that little voice in the back of her mind saying 'what if'.

What if she had told him how she felt before she fell asleep that night? What if he hadn't left? What if she had told him how she felt earlier? What if…what if.

It was stupid to think about 'what if's' really but she couldn't help it. She just wished with all her might that he'd return to her. But unfortunately, wishes don't come true.

**xxx**

**So there we are, another chapter. Hope ya'll are happy. :P _SHE'S PREGGERS!_ Hehehe gotta be happy 'but that LOL**

**Nix707: **I've told! And you were right it is Cammie…I was close though right? LOL. And you are just one big meanie! I hope you're happy! You got me to update quicker…wonder how long that'll last. LOL, but please! Don't be like Beccy! She's not a very nice person! Please! LOL

**Shalimar2: **But I updated quickly so…

**Series addict: **It's not a week it's a few days :D. I just wrote it like that so it'd fit in with the story. I can't exactly have Mac skipping more work ay? LOL So basically I get to make up the name for the boy too ay…cool!

**Tati aka Trinity: **No cliffhangers! I don't think. Thanks for the advice.

**ur-southern-belle:** Yes it was LOL…I think I like Caddie better though LOL

**dansingwolf: **Sure it woulda made sense but then where's the suspense? LOL. No no I think it's better that he's not there…more angsty that way LOL.

**Daisymh: **Anks!

**Froggy0319: **Ya know no matter how many times I type your name I always get the number wrong LOL, but I correct it so it doesn't matter. I'm thinking of just calling you froggy LOL. Much easier LOL. I sorry for the delay I was just acting too lazy for my liking. I'll try to update quicker LOL.

**Snugglebug: **I like Ficland…it means I'm never wrong LOL. I can blame it all on my muse hehehe.

**JaimeAKAaclassyone: **Fank you!  
**alix33: **You're right it's Cammie…I was close though LOL.

**Sammy85:** I'm kinda looking forward to writing them LOL. I hope I don't make you wait too long.

**Ummmm, this always happens to me LOL. I know I had a question but now I can't remember. I'll ask next chapter…I hope it's not gonna be too late LOL. I'll just ask a different question…ummm…oh oh! Anyone have any good slice-of-song that sounds like Mac and Harm? You probably don't understand me but aaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway… for those of you who do…answer!**


	14. Musings And Much Needed Laughs

**Title: Un Amor Tan Grande**

**Author: Beccy**

**Disclaimer: It's mine! All mine…_NOT_**

**Summery: After one night together, Harm leaves, leaving Mac crushed. Not long later, she finds out that even though a 4 percent chance seemed small, it's actually bigger odds than she expected. My take on what would have happened if JAG had been signed up for season 11.**

**A/N: Thanks Nix707 for the song :big kiss: and the motivation LOL. **

**Review responses below :)**

**xxx**

I'm here without you baby  
But your still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
And I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
But you're still with me in my dreams  
And tonight it's only you and me

_'Here without you' _3 doors down

**xxx**

**Chapter 13: Musings And Much Needed Laughs.**

Mac awoke on Monday morning feeling better than she had the week before. On Sunday it had dawned on her that she was going to be a mother…something that she had given up all hope on being, and since then everything began to look that tad bit brighter. She still wished Harm was there to go through everything with her but the fact of the matter was that she couldn't do anything but look for him, something which she had vowed she'd do no matter what. It would be harder to find him considering he didn't want to be found, less of all by her, but sooner or later she'd do it and when she did, they'd be the happy family they deserved to be.

She strolled into work five minutes early. She entered her office and set everything up for the day. Then she made her way to General Creswell's office. She found Jen behind her desk and she made an appointment to see the General later that day. Then she went to the break room. She poured herself a cup of orange juice and sat down at the table. Taking a small sip, she wondered how she was going to tell the General about her pregnancy. Although he wasn't going to be her commanding officer for long, she still felt as if he should know. Maybe it was because he had been so nice to her throughout this whole ordeal. Not many CO's would've granted her those days off, and even more would've reprimanded her for having slacked off all of last week.

While she was sipping her glass of OJ, Vukovic entered the break room. He took one look at Mac and sat down directly in front of her. Mac didn't even notice.

"Colonel," he said, in an attempt to catch her attention.

She was still deep in thought.

"Colonel Mackenzie," he said louder, waving his hand in front of her face.

She didn't even blink.

He was starting to get frustrated, a monkey a mile away could've seen that. Lucky for him, General Creswell chose that moment to enter the break room, looking for Mac.

"Good Morning, Lt. Vukovic," the General greeted.

"Uh…Good Morning, sir."

"Good Morning Colonel," the General said, placing his hand on Mac's shoulder.

"Wha…oh…uh…Good Morning, Sir," Mac stumbled.

"Colonel, I have some spare time and I was wondering if you would like to have that meeting now."

"Okay Sir, now's fine with me."

**xxx**

"Okay Colonel, what is it that you wanted to talk about?"

"Well sir, you know how last week I was a bit out of it because of Harm and because I was feeling a little sick?" She waited until the General nodded before continuing. "It turns out that I'm not sick sir…I'm actually pregnant."

The General just stared at Mac for a few seconds. "Are you sure?" he asked her.

"Yes sir. The doctor confirmed it on Saturday."

"Well then, I think congratulations is in order," he said with a soft smile on his face.

Mac smiled, "Thank you Sir."

"I assume you're going to keep it."

"Definitely," Mac said with so much finality that it surprised both the General and herself.

"Well then, don't forget to visit us when this baby's born okay?"

"Of course, Sir."

"Good," he said with the smile still in place.

**xxx**

Later that night, there was a knock on Mac's door. She looked up from the book she was reading, and set the book next to her on the couch. There was another knock and Mac got up to open the door.

"Auntie Mac!" a little boy shouted and he literally jumped into Mac's arms. After the initial surprise wore off she greeted the little boy.

"Hey there AJ," she said with a huge smile on her face. There was a light tug on Mac's jeans and she looked down only to find little Jimmy looking back up at her. "Hello Mr. Jimmy."

"Sorry if this is a bit sudden Mac. I just thought you might wanna smile for a while," Harriet said.

"Thanks," Mac said, a gin plastered on her face.

She opened the door wider and everyone entered the apartment. They all sat and a conversation flowed through all of them.

"Guess what, Auntie Mac!" AJ said, with all the energy a five year old could muster.

"What AJ?"

"Tommy, from next door, his mummy's pregnant!" he said happily.

"Really?" Mac asked.

"Uh huh," AJ said nodding his head exaggeratedly.

"Well guess what AJ," Mac said softly.

"What?" AJ asked with wide eyes.

"I'm pregnant too."

"Really?" AJ asked, a smile creeping it's way onto his face.

"Really."

"YAY!" AJ screamed, jumping up and down on the floor.

Mac laughed, Harriet laughed…everyone laughed. Even the twins who had no idea what was happening laughed. Everyone was happy. The only thing missing was Harm…

**xxx**

**Here we go! Another chapter gone, another to come…soon. LOL.**

**The next chapter might take a while because I have to find an episode so I know more or less how to write the promoting ceremony. Just a heads up LOL.**

**Tati aka Trinity: **Of course! LOL, how could she not be?  
**Nix707: **Happy? Another, kinda fast update. Now I warn you I have no idea what I'm gonna write next chapter so I might take a wee bit longer. And I'm gong back home which may work in your favour, 'coz it's a 6hr trip, or against it, I might sleep through it LOL. And i just realised that this isn't as long as i was hoping it would be...I seriously have no idea how to write long chapters...i _can't_ do it.  
**Shalimar: **Tanking you.  
**Froggy: **Patience. He'll come when he needs to come…correction, he'll come when I want him to come hehehe.  
**Toplesslemon:** Whoa! LOL. Thanks a lot for that:big hug: ANK U!  
**Angie.C: **Thanks.  
**sammy85: **This one's longer, not much longer but yeah…LOL thanks for reminding me about the promoting ceremony, it had totally slipped my mind LOL.  
**daisymh: **Thanks for the review.  
**Hemi Girl Racing: **LOL thanks.  
**CharmedAli: **LOL. Everyone wants the same but…not gonna happen for a while…sorry!  
**JaimeAKAaclassyone: **Perhaps, but what good is he if she can't get a hold of him?  
**emotionless04: **LOL so do I but I'm not sure if that's gonna happen. I can just imagine it. A boy and a girl LOL.  
**snugglebug: **She'll find him…eventually LOL  
**lily94: **I reckon ay LOL. A while longer.  
**Series addict: **Yes, extremely shocking LOL. I _love_ Harriet. She's so nice ay! That's a bit normal…so no. LOL.  
**BiAnCa: **You're a dur man LOL. And of course I'm gay…if your on about the dictionary meaning of the word LOL. If not, then you're the gay one hunny! But I lub ya all the same…kinda LOL. Glad you like the fic though :muaks:.  
**starryeyes10: **Thanks


	15. AN

I hope you guys didn't get your hopes up too high. This is **_NOT _**a new chapter. I would've updated sooner but we had a black out and it fried something on my computer and I took it to get fixed and they reformatted it again and what little I had written was erased. And now I've having some personal problems that I have to work out and will probably take some time to get back to normal and I thought I should let you guys know that it may be a while before I update again. I **_WILL_** update again I promise!

Love,

Beccy


	16. Party Time

**Title: Un Amor Tan Grande**

**Author: Beccy**

**Disclaimer: What you recognize isn't mine! In other words…nothing is.**

**Summery: After one night together, Harm leaves, leaving Mac crushed. Not long later, she finds out that even though a 4 percent chance seemed small, it's actually bigger odds than she expected.**

**A/N: I'm sorry!!!!! (Ducks from all the rotten tomatoes being thrown at her.) I know! I took forever…but I'm back! Smile and be happy…lol. I'm living in Australia again and my life has been pretty hectic for the past year or so..So anyway! **

**A/N2: Originally I was going to write out all of a traditional promotion but I decided not to considering I'd most likely just mess it up..**

**Hope y'all like your Christmas present:**

**The story!**

**xxx **

**Chapter 15: Party Time**

**xxx **

_On and on although your gone  
Candles burn without a flame on _

_Our final call to you...I know you're listening  
How could you leave us that way?_

(10 years today, Bullet for my Valentine)

**xxx **

Mac walked into the bullpen the next day with a million thoughts running through her head. Mac sighed as she felt tears burn the back of her eyes as she remembered how loved she felt the night before when she was surrounded by the Roberts' children and she was grateful that she had reached her office. Closing the door behind her, she took her coat off and tried to get rid of the tears that were threatening to fall.

'I can't keep doing this to myself,' she thought to herself. 'I'm going to have a baby. A _baby_. It's all I've ever wanted and now that I'm getting it I'm depressing myself just because he's not here to share this with me? No. He left. It was _his _choice. And there is _nothing_ I can do to make him come back. I've got to get over it.'

She sighed heavily. The tears were still there, still threatening to fall. She took a couple of deep breaths trying to will the wetness away. 'I have to be strong. For the sake of my baby,' she thought as she sat at her desk and began to organize it. Then pulling the first file in the 'in' box and began to do some paperwork before she had to go to court.

**xxx **

Court had been terrible. She had a sinking feeling that she was going to lose this particular case, which was a pity because young Petty Officer Angelus hadn't meant any harm to have come to any of his fellow officers. Slightly shaking her head she pushed open the doors of the bullpen and entered. Just at that moment, the General exited his office.

"Attention on deck!" yelled Jen.

"At ease all," the General said a heartbeat later. "As you all know, Lt. Col. Mackenzie is being reassigned to San Diego. The position that she is taking is that of a Full Colonel, so Lt. Col. Mackenzie, if you could please come here."

The look on Mac's face was priceless. She knew this would happen, what she hadn't known was that it was going to happen that day. Slowly, but steadily, she made her way next to the General.

The General swore Mac in and Bud and Jen took off Mac's Oak Leaves and traded them in for her new Eagle shoulder boards. Mac smiled as everyone cheered and clapped.

"The 'wetting down' will be Friday night at the Roberts' home. Everyone and I mean _everyone_ is expected to be there. Congratulations Colonel," the General said before turning around and entering his office. People congratulated Mac on her way back to her office; all she did was smile and thank them. What else could she do?

**xxx **

The rest of the day passed as a blur to her…as did the rest of the week and before she knew it, it was Friday and she was standing at the doorstep of two of her best friends in the world. Knocking once, she was surprised when the General opened the door wide enough for her to enter the house.

"Hello Colonel," he greeted.

"Hi, Sir," Mac answered, getting used to her new rank.

Mac entered the house and little AJ hugged her tight as soon as he saw her. His smile was bright and he gave her a kiss on the cheek which warmed her soul.

"Congratulations, Auntie Mac!" he shouted, alerting everyone that the guest of honor had arrived.

Mac greeted everyone as she made her way through the house. They all seemed to crowd around her wanting to congratulate her, for both her promotion and pregnancy. Truth be told, Mac still didn't know how everyone had found out she as pregnant. She didn't mind people knowing, it was all the knowing looks they kept sending her that annoyed her. But she was thankful that no one had asked her who the father was. She wasn't sure she wanted to tell everyone about what happened with Harm.

She mixed and mingled for a few hours, before the need of fresh air overtook her and she found herself in the backyard, sitting on a swing. In her hand she held a glass of cool water and she took a sip every now and then. She didn't know how long she'd been sitting out there, her internal clock was out of order and she'd forgotten to put her watch on that morning. She stared into space, thinking about nothing and everything at once. She jumped as Harriet sat on the swing next to hers.

"You ok?" Harriet asked Mac softly.

"Yeah," Mac answered hoarsely.

"Come on," Harriet said, laying her hand on Mac's shoulder, "It's starting to get chilly out here."

Mac turned her head and looked at Harriet for a slight second before opening her mouth, "I'm going to miss you, Harriet."

"I'm going to miss you, too," Harriet told her, her eyes misting over with tears.

The two friends hugged, as tears made their way down both their faces. They laughed as they parted and wiped the tears from their cheeks. They smiled and Harriet took Mac's hands.

"I know you're scared," She said. "Being a mother isn't easy. I just want you to know, if you ever need anything, and I mean _anything,_ give me a call. It doesn't matter what time it is, I'll be willing to help."

"Thank you," Mac told her. "You've been so good to me. I don't know what I would have done without you."

They hugged again before letting go and going back inside. Harriet went into the kitchen and Mac made her way back into the party. Fifteen minutes later, Mac was talking to Sturgis when suddenly, the lights were turned off and Harriet walked in, holding a big mud cake with lit candles all around the rim. As a grinning Harriet made her way closer to Mac, everyone gathered began to sing the Marine Corps Hymn.

"_From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli',  
We fight our countries battles in the air', on land, and sea.  
First to fight for right and freedom, And to keep our honor clean,  
We are proud to claim the title Of United States Marines._

"Our flags unfurl'd to every breeze from dawn to setting sun';  
We have fought in every clime and place where we could take a gun.  
In the snow of far-off northern lands and in sunny tropic scenes,  
You will find us always on the job - The United States Marines.

"Here's health to you and to our Corps which we are proud to serve;  
In many a strife we've fought for life and never lost our nerve.  
If the Army and the Navy ever gaze on Heaven's scenes,  
They will find the streets are guarded By United States Marines."

Mac laughed as everyone quieted down and left General Creswell singing the last verse by himself. She smiled up at Harriet as she took a deep breath and blew all the candles out. She helped Harriet take the candles off the cake and while Harriet cut the cake, Mac handed out the pieces on paper plates and gave everyone plastic forks.

Soon after the cake was devoured, people began to make their exit. An hour later, only AJ (the Admiral), Sturgis, Mac and the Roberts' family were left.

"Honestly, you guys can leave!" Harriet exclaimed picking up Jimmy from the couch and began her trek up the stairs. "You've already helped enough; I can finish cleaning tomorrow morning."

"Are you sure?" AJ asked again.

"Yes! I'm sure. I'll see you guys later."

"Well then, you heard the lady," Mac piped up, clapping her hands.

AJ and Sturgis both grabbed their coats and began to put them on. They both raised their eyebrows as they noticed that Mac hadn't moved from her spot next to the stairs.

"Aren't you coming?" Sturgis asked her.

"Umm, I'm going to be a little longer."

"Well, in case I don't see you," AJ said as he approached Mac and enveloped her into a hug, "It's been an absolute pleasure knowing you. I'll miss you, and if you ever need anyone I'm here. You're like a daughter to me, and I couldn't imagine not knowing you."

"I'll miss you too…Dad," Mac said, as tears began to run down her face.

Mac felt their hug tighten and she hugged him closer.

"If I ever get my hands on Rabb," he whispered, "I'm going to rip him a new one."

Mac chuckled and reluctantly let him go. He wiped a tear off of her face and left. Sturgis caught Mac's eye and smiled and waved as he walked outside. Mac sighed and began to walk up the stairs. She heard a soft voice coming from Jimmy's room and as she got closer she realized it was Harriet singing. Mac stood in the doorway watching Harriet sing two of her children a lullaby.

"_Go to sleep my darling, close your little eyes.  
Angels are above us, peeping through the skies.  
God is in his heaven, and he watch doth keep.  
Time for little children to go to sleep."  
_

Harriet turned and smiled when she saw Mac watching her. She crept towards her, not wanting to wake the twins up again.

"Just think that in a few months, that'll be you singing that lullaby."

"I-I don't know if I can do it," Mac confessed.

"What do you mean?" Harriet asked confused.

"I mean, I just don't think I have that maternal instinct you know? I didn't exactly have the best role model and…I guess I'm just nervous that I'll corrupt the kid or something. I just, don't know anymore."

"Mac, trust me when I say this, but you would make the best mum. I've seen you with my kids, how gently and loving you are with them. You'll make an excellent mother, trust me."

"I do."

**xxx **

**Well I hope it was worth the wait! I got the Hymn off the internet so I'm extremely sorry if it's not correct. I'm not entirely happy with this chapter…I keep thinking there are loads of mistakes. But the JAG final was on down here in Australia on Tuesday and I just had this sudden burst of inspiration and wanted to take advantage of it…So: **

_**Merry Christmas!!**_

**Please!! Press that little purple button and review!**

**Oh! And one question! Do the JAG judges have to report to anyone? Who shows them to their new office and all? Thanks in advance!**


	17. No More Bullpen Days

**Title: Un Amor Tan Grande**

**Author: Beccy**

**Disclaimer: What you recognize isn't mine! In other words…nothing is.**

**Summery: After one night together, Harm leaves, leaving Mac crushed. Not long later, she finds out that even though a 4 percent chance seemed small, it's actually bigger odds than she expected.**

**A/N: Another Chapter Done! **

**xxx **

**Chapter 16: No More Bullpen Days**

**xxx **

_When you say love,  
Is a simple chemical reaction,  
Can't say I agree,  
'Cause my chemical reaction, yeah  
Left me a beautiful disaster_

(Catalyst, Anna Nalick)

**xxx **

The rest of Mac's time as a lawyer passed like a blur. In between winning most of her cases and making preparations for her move to San Diego, she barely had enough time to think and before she knew it, she found herself stepping into headquarters for the last time. She took a good look around her before making her way to her office. She sat on her chair and ran her hands over her desk. Taking a big breath she grabbed the files of the cases she hadn't had time to finish and began sorting them into piles, depending on who got what file.

Once she had finished, she grabbed the first pile and made her way to Sturgis' office. Knocking softly she turned the door knob and entered his office. He looked up at her and smiled as he held up his index finger, signaling her to wait. She waited patiently as he finished his telephone conversation. A few seconds later, Sturgis hung up.

"Hey Mac," he greeted her.

"Hey Sturgis," she said.

"How are you? It's your last day isn't it?"

"Yeah," she said with a small laugh. "You know, I honestly thought that I'd be here until I retired. I mean, I've been here for almost 10 years. That's the longest I've been stationed anywhere. I can't believe I'm actually leaving."

"I can imagine. Don't worry, you'll do well."

"Thanks," she told him. "Well, here are the cases I haven't finished. Good luck with them."

"Thank you."

He stood up from his chair and circled his desk until he stood before her. He pulled her into a tight hug and she hugged him back just as tightly.

"We're going to miss you," he whispered in her ear.

"I'm going to miss you," she told him. "And thank you, for not spilling the beans about my little secret," she said, referring to the time she told him of her feelings for Harm.

"No thanks necessary."

After spending some more time reminiscing with Sturgis, Mac stopped by her office to pick up the other stack of files. She grabbed them and began looking for Bud. She found him in the break room, making himself a cup of coffee. She dropped the files onto the table and began to make herself a cup of tea.

"Hey Bud," she said.

"'Morning ma'am," he responded with a smile.

"Here are a few more cases for you to work on," she told him as she pointed to the files on the table.

Bud laughed, "Gee, thanks ma'am," he told her.

"Anytime Bud, anytime," she laughed, taking a sip out of her cup.

"Ma'am-"

"Mac," she interrupted.

"Mac, Harriet wanted me to tell you that she would like us to stop by your apartment on Saturday before you leave."

"Sure. Actually, that helps me. You don't think you guys could give me a ride to the airport, do you?"

"I don't see why not," he answered. "I'll have to pass it by Harriet and we'll have to ring both cars so we'll all fit but I think she would have suggested it anyway."

"Probably," Mac said laughing. "Well then I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Bud asked, confused.

"Tomorrow is Saturday, Bud," Mac said, smiling.

"Already? Ok then, see you tomorrow."

Mac laughed and shook her head as she left the room. She made her way to the toilet after getting the urge to pee. After doing her business in the cubicle, she turned the tap on. She washed her hands and splashed some cold water onto her face, refreshing herself.

**xxx **

The rest of the day passed by rather quickly. She had spent most of the day contemplating the turn her life was taking. She gathered her stuff for the last time and picked up the cardboard box filled with the personal items that decorated her office. Her _old_ office.

She crossed the bullpen and smiled at Jen before setting her belongings on her desk. Jen smiled back and announced to the General through the intercom that Mac wanted to see him. After getting the go ahead, Mac knocked and opened the door.

"Colonel. Mac, what can I do for you?" he asked her.

"Sir, I just wanted to thank you. For everything really."

"It was my pleasure and as sad as I am to see you go, I know you'll do well."

"Thank you," Mac said smiling. "That means a lot to me."

"Your welcome."

Then Mac saluted him for what would be the last time, and turned on her heel and left his office.

She hugged Jen tightly and they said their farewells. Mac smiled as she grabbed her stuff and left the bullpen for the last time.

**xxx **

_R'n'R!! And Happy New Years!! Hope you start off 2007 on a great foot!!_


	18. Goodbyes and Flights

**Chapter 17: Goodbyes and Flights**

**xxx **

_I'd go to hell and back over and over again,  
Just to prove to you how much I need you here,  
There's nothing I wouldn't do,  
I'd cry for you._

(Missing you, 1st lady)

**xxx **

The birds 'tweeting' outside and the warm rays from the sun were what woke Mac. She yawned and looked around her packed room. It all felt so empty and cold, so lifeless. She got up from her makeshift bed and entered the bathroom.

'I look terrible,' she thought as she looked at herself in the mirror.

Slowly she undressed, ridding her body of a pair of red satin shorts and a tight black top. She stepped into the shower and turned the knob. Quickly, cold water hit her skin and made her jump, but slowly the water warmed up and soon the hot water rid Mac of the knots in her back. After washing herself, she got out of the shower and wrapped herself in a warm, fluffy towel. She left the bathroom and entered her bedroom. She sighed as she looked at the low rise jeans and creamy-brown tank top she had laid on a chair the night before. Slowly, she toweled herself dry and dressed. Then she folded her towel and pyjamas and put them inside a plastic bag before slipping them into her large suitcase.

After checking the time and realizing it was still early, she made her way downstairs and to a nearby café to have a quick breakfast. She downed her chamomile tea and ham and cheese croissant before going back home. She was double-checking everything; to make sure she wasn't leaving anything behind, when her doorbell rang. She opened the door and a small body latched itself onto her leg.

"Hey Jimmy," she said as she knelt down and picked him up. He didn't reply, just held onto her neck as if his life depended on it.

"Hello Mac," Harriet said as she tried unsuccessfully to take Jimmy off her.

"Hi, don't worry about it," she told her.

"Ready to go?" Harriet asked her.

"Yeah, sure. Just let me grab my suitcase."

A few minutes later, they were on their way to the airport. Harriet, Mac, Jimmy and AJ in one and Bud with the twins in the other. Mac and Harriet were talking loudly, trying to get AJ and Jimmy into the conversation. But they both stayed silent, making Mac feel terrible inside. They arrived at the airport and parked. As they neared Mac's terminal, Mac could see four familiar figures standing, waiting for her.

"What are you guys doing here?" she asked them.

"You don't think we'd want to see you off?" Admiral AJ told her as he pulled her into a hug. General Creswell, Jen and Sturgis standing next to him.

"I thought you were in Italy," she asked him.

"Well, I figured I could catch a later airplane and come and say goodbye. I knew Francesca wouldn't mind."

She smiled as they parted and they talked as she got into line. By the time Mac got to the front of the line, they were all laughing over one of the Admiral's anecdotes of Mac's time at JAG. As everyone else waited, Mac got her boarding pass and shipped off her baggage, expect for a small bag that she was going to take onto the plane with her.

They were able to chat for a bit more before Mac realized that they were going to start boarding her plane soon.

"I better get going," she said reluctantly.

She gave Jen a tight hug as Jen whispered a quiet 'thank you' into Mac's ear.

"What for?" she asked, confused.

"Everything really. You're a strong, independent woman who has made it in a man dominated field. It's given me hope, you know? You've inspired me to be the best I can be and I want to be a Navy version of you."

Mac pursed her lips together, trying not to cry, and she hugged Jen again. They pulled apart and smile at each other before Mac moved onto the next person in line: General Creswell. Before she could contemplate whether to hug him or shake his hand, he had pulled her into a small hug.

"Good luck," he told her.

"Thank you, Sir."

She extended her hand out and he took it. They shook hands and smiled at each other. A little body pulled on Mac's tank top, making her look down. Jimmy raised his arms, signaling that he wanted Mac to pick him up and she did so. He hugged her as tight as a three year old could. He didn't fully understand what was going on, but he knew that his Aunty Mac was leaving and that was enough to make him sad.

Mac gave Bud a hug, slightly squashing Jimmy in between them. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and chuckled when she saw him begin to blush.

"We'll miss you," he told her.

"Oh I think I'll miss you guys more," Mac said sincerely.

She moved on and gave each of the twins a kiss, watching them as they made bubbles with their mouths. She smiled, thinking of the precious baby she would be holding in her arms in a few months time. Mac's eyes moved to look at Harriet. She didn't know what she would have done without her, and she told her so.

"Oh Mac," Harriet replied, pulling her into a huge hug, Jimmy and all. Jimmy began to squirm so Mac let him down before giving Harriet a bigger hug.

"Thank you so so so so so so so much. For everything."

"You are very welcome. Promise me you'll call. Give me updates on the baby and on your job. Tell me about _everything_!"

"I promise."

They hugged one more time before Mac looked at AJ. He looked up at her with tears in his eyes. His bottom lip quivered and he bit it as a big, fat tear made its way down his chubby cheek. Mac bent down directly in front of him and he rushed into her arms.

"I'll miss you, Auntie Mac," he told her.

"I-I'll miss you, too, AJ," she said, her voice breaking.

It was at that moment when through the loud speaker a voice could be heard saying that Mac's flight was ready to board. AJ and Mac separated and she stood up straight, looking at Admiral AJ.

"You better get going," he told her with a sad smile.

Mac nodded before rushing into his arms to hug him tightly. "Promise me you'll come and visit me."

"Only if you promise to visit me," he retorted.

They laughed as Mac parted and he gave her a swift kiss on her cheek.

"Goodbye, Dad."

"See you later Mac."

**xxx**

_Next chapter has Harm in it! Although it's probably not how you think. I mean, Mac and Harm won't interact. Not yet anyway. I'm not sure of how old Jimmy really is, so I decided that 3 would be believable._

_R'n'R._

_Oh and I apologize if this one is shorter than usual. I'm babysitting my niece at the moment and she is trying to get me to play with her. 'Sigh'._


	19. Fate

**Title: Un Amor Tan Grande**

**Author: Beccy**

**Disclaimer: What you recognize isn't mine! In other words…nothing is.**

**Summery: After one night together, Harm leaves, leaving Mac crushed. Not long later, she finds out that even though a 4 percent chance seemed small, they're actually bigger odds than she expected.**

**xxx **

**Chapter 18: Fate.**

**xxx **

'_Cause I fear I might brake  
And I fear I can't take it  
Tonight I'll lie awake  
Feeling empty_

_(Pressure, Paramore)_

**xxx **

**One Month Later**

A cup of hot coffee rested in his hand. He stared down at the murky liquid lost in thought. He had left one month and three weeks ago and he _still_ couldn't stop thinking about her. Was she alright? Was she happy? Did she hate him? Those questions and many more kept running through his head, leaving footprints on his heart. Those seven or so weeks had felt like a lifetime to him. He just wanted to run back to Washington and hug Mac tighly, and never let go.

But he'd made his decision and he had to stick with it, no matter how hard it was. He remembered Webb once telling him that she was looking for him, but he couldn't bring himself to believe him. The idea of Mac wanting to find him after he had taken advantage of her that way made his heart tighten and tears well up behind his eyes. So he chose to not believe him.

He pushed Mac to the back of his mind and thought about what he was going to do with himself during the next two weeks. The distraught husband of a recently jailed Petty Officer had managed to create some serious damage to Harm's bullpen, and as a result, everyone now had two weeks vacation time while the damage was reversed.

Suddenly, he remembered a conversation he had had with his mother no too long ago. She had gone on and on about how she hadn't seen him in a while and she missed him. Decision made, Harm signed onto the internet and five minutes later, he had a plane ticket booked. A plane ticket to San Diego.

**xxx**

**Ok now that is what I call short LoL. **

**I realized that this story was going on and on and that nothing was really happening, it was all just repeating itself. So I decided to move it along a bit. By doing that I had to cut out a lot of what I was going to add that really only took up space. **

**Oh and his mum did live in San Diego didn't she? I can't for the life of me remember. So if she doesn't…she does now 'grin'.**

**Next chapter: They're both in San Diego. Will they meet? Or won't they?**

**Review!**


	20. Movies and Burgers

**Title: Un Amor Tan Grande**

**Author: Beccy**

**Disclaimer: What you recognize isn't mine! In other words…nothing is.**

**Summery: After one night together, Harm leaves, leaving Mac crushed. Not long later, she finds out that even though a 4 percent chance seemed small, they're actually bigger odds than she expected.**

**xxx **

**Chapter 18: Movies and Burgers**

**xxx**

My mind is blank,

Just like a clean slate.

Will I meet another guy,

With the same blue eyes,

And the same name?

_(Collapsed_, Aly & Aj)

**xxx**

It was still early in the evening and Mac stood sideways in front of her mirror, with the hem of her t-shirt tucked underneath her chin. She lightly ran her hands over the beginnings of a bump on her stomach. She smiled widely as she thought about being a mum in just under 7 months. She returned her shirt to its correct position and noticed that you still couldn't tell that she had a baby growing inside her.

Moving to San Diego had been one of the best things she'd done. Sure she missed Harriet and everyone else, but she certainly didn't miss the memories that would assault her at every turn. Here she had started fresh. News that she was pregnant had gotten out, but she had made it clear that she didn't want to talk about it and she had thankfully been left alone.

Earlier that day, she had received a call from Lindsay, a friend she had made during the short time she had been in San Diego. She had met Lindsay during a visit to her new OB GYN. She had been waiting in the waiting room when Lindsay had come in and sat next to her. They began to talk and pretty soon they had 'clicked' and became friends after realizing that they had a fair bit in common. Lindsay told her about how she was going through the pregnancy with the baby's father; however she had a really good friend who had volunteered to be the father figure in the baby's life. Mac in turn told Lindsay all about Harm. About half an hour after they had started talking, the doctor had called Mac so they exchanged phone numbers with a promise to meet up some time. Not long after, they found themselves going out, whether it was for coffee or lunch, at least once a week. Today they had decided to go to the movies and then grab some dinner.

Mac grabbed a coat and her bag before quickly slipping her shoes on and leaving her apartment. She made a quick decision to walk to the cinema as it was a 10 minute walk and she still had 15 minutes before she had to meet Lindsay.

When Mac arrived at the cinemas, she found that Lindsay was already there and it didn't take long for the bubbly redhead to notice Mac's presence. Lindsay practically skipped towards Mac before engulfing her in a huge hug.

"Hey Hun," Lindsay greeted with affection.

"Hi Linds. How you been?"

"Great! Morning sickness is no more," she said laughingly.

"And I can smell meat cooking without being sick," Mac said with a huge smile on her face. Not being able to have meat, her one true love, just because the smell would make her sick was killing her.

"Congrats, love. Now, what movie are we going to see?"

They joked and laughed all the way into the cinema, arms filled with popcorn, candy floss and lots of chocolate. The movie started and they quieted down only to find themselves laughing along with the antics of the main actor and cried when the guy almost lost the girl but managed to win her back in the end.

They left the cinema laughing. This is what she loved about being with Lindsay. She felt free every time she was with her, and she felt like life was finally starting to look up on her.

They walked into a nearby diner, which made the best burgers in San Diego. They walked into the diner laughing and remembering the dumb things the actor did in the movie, when suddenly, Mac stood still and she felt her heart tighten and speed up.

"Mac, sweetie. What's wrong?" Lindsay said, worry coming though in her voice.

Mac didn't hear her. All she could do was stand there and stare at the image in front of her.

"Harm," she barely whispered.

Lindsay saw Mac's lips move but she couldn't make out the words. She took a step closer to Mac and laid her hand on Mac's shoulder. The contact jolted Mac out of her state. She looked around as if she had no idea where she was, before sprouting out some sort of excuse. She rushed out of the diner and began jogging her way home. Bit by bit she found herself catching speed until she was sprinting home.

She didn't stop when she got to her apartment building. She pushed through the door and attacked the stairs two by two, only giving herself time to breathe when she had closed her apartment door behind her and felt her body slide down the door. She lifted her hand to her cheek to wipe the tears she hadn't realized had fallen.

'What is he doing here?' she thought to herself. 'I finally stopped looking for him, resigning myself to the fact that I was never going to see him again; that I'd never be able to tell him that he was going to be a father. And just when I start living my life again, he turns up. For once, why can't I just be happy?'

She stood up and threw the heels she had taken off halfway home and was currently holding on to the floor.

'Oh God. What if that was my last chance?' she realized, 'what if that was my last chance to tell him about the baby? To tell him…to tell him what? That I love him? Do I even still love him? What am I thinking? Of course I do! I wouldn't have reacted like that if I didn't. But can I still trust him? … He still deserves to know.'

Rapidly, she slipped on some shoes and grabbed her keys before hurrying down the stairs and slid into her car. She made her way back to the diner, silently wishing that he would still be there. She got there in just over a minute and burst inside. Her face fell once she noticed that he wasn't there. She sighed and turned around running straight into a hard chest.

"Ooof," Mac said as she rebounded off the guy's chest.

She looked up to find him staring at her, his mouth gaping like a goldfish.

"Mac?" he sqeaked.

"Hi Harm," she said, her heart pounding in her chest.

**Xxx**

**There we go…another chapter. I'm sorry about the irregular posting. I've sat down many times to write down the chapter but without the inspiration, I just couldn't do it. Hopefully things will get better and I'll be able to post more regularly. I just hope you guys are still reading this fic.**

**xoxo**


	21. Hugh’s Diner

**Title: Un Amor Tan Grande**

**Author: Beccy**

**Disclaimer: What you recognize isn't mine! In other words…nothing is.**

**Summery: After one night together, Harm leaves, leaving Mac crushed. Not long later, she finds out that even though a 4 percent chance seemed small, they're actually bigger odds than she expected.**

**Author's Note: I don't update regularly, and I'm probably the laziest person out, but somehow this story had gotten over 300 reviews. Now I know better than to quit a good thing, so here's another chapter. The next one is half-way done. **

**xxx**

**Chapter 19: Hugh's Diner**

**xxx**

Broken hearts parade  
And I'm putting my heart out on display  
There's no masquerade  
Just a funeral march for love today  
The band strikes up and they're playing a song  
Dressed in black and we're singing along  
To the, broken hearts parade  
Broken hearts parade  
And I've never been better than I am today

(_Broken Hearts Parade_ – Good Charlotte)

**xxx**

Harm was woken up by his mum a couple of hours later.

"Come on," Trish exclaimed happily. "We're going to Hugh's diner for dinner."

Harm's groggy eyes lit up at the mention of Hugh's diner as it had been his favourite diner ever since his dad took him there when he was 4. He felt his mouth water at the thought of biting into the juiciest vegetarian burgers he'd ever tasted and he scrambled out of bed as Trish smile, amused at his actions.

'I knew that would work,' she thought to herself, chuckling as she left the room.

Harm stood in the middle of the room, disoriented. He made his way towards the pile of luggage that sat in a corner of the room. Unfortunately, the bag that had gotten lost happened to hold his clothing, but he remembered chucking a couple more changes of clothing into another bag. He just couldn't remember which one. He opened all this bags before finding the one that housed a couple of shirts and a pair of pants. It looked like he'd have to go shopping if they didn't find his bag soon. That was something he was not looking forward to. Shopping with his mum was like an Olympic event and he'd end up buying much more than he'd need. In fact he'd buy so much that he'd end up having to buy an extra bag to be able to take it all back with him to London.

After getting dressed, Harm went into the bathroom to wash up before making his way downstairs. Fifteen minutes later, they had left the house and were making their way to the diner. As soon as they got there they were spotted by the diner's owner, Hugh.

"Well if it isn't little Harmon Rabb," he said, loud enough to be heard.

"Hey Hugh," Harm greeted back.

Hugh pulled Harm into a big manly hug before giving Trish a peck on the cheek and Frank a warm handshake.

"I haven't seen you in a long time. How you been?"

"Pretty good. Moved to London, I'm in command of a bullpen full of lawyers. All is good."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," Harm answered confused. "Why?"

"No reason, you just seem a little down is all."

"Why would I be? I've got everything going for me."

"You're right, you're right. Come on, you guys can sit over here," Hugh said, starting to lead them to an empty table while sending Trish a questioning look. Trish just shook her head sadly at him. "So, what would you guys like to drink? The usual?"

**xxx**

"God, that was even better than I remembered it," Harm said patting his full stomach.

"That's because you're been gone for too long," Hugh said as he pulled an empty seat to the table and sat down.

They started talking and pretty soon Hugh was poking fun at Harm as everyone laughed joyfully. Harm was laughing when his gaze gravitated towards the entrance of the diner where he saw a redhead looking at the back of a brunette with a questioning gaze. The brunette's back seemed familiar but before he could read too much into it, the brunette had left the diner, followed by the redhead. Harm shook his head as if to clear his thoughts before pulling his mind back into the conversation.

"Okay, can we change the subject now?" Harm asked laughing, the scene being pushed into the back of his mind.

**xxx**

"Don't take too long to come back here," Hugh said as he reached up to try and ruffle Harm's hair.

"One, I'm not three anymore Hugh, and two, you're too short," Harm said chuckling. "But don't worry, I'll be back soon."

Frank, Trish and Harm said their goodbyes and left the diner, feeling content.

"Hugh hasn't changed at all," Harm commented to his mother.

"He's been like that since you're father met him so many years ago," she replied.

A slight breeze picked up and Harm shivered slightly as it hit his neck. He frowned trying to remember where his jacket was before remembering that he had left it on the back of his chair.

"I'll meet you guys back at the car. I forgot my jacket back at the diner."

Harm rushed back to the diner and he quickly pushed through the door, colliding into a soft body.

"Oof."

"I am so sor-" Harm's apology died as he got a good look at the women before him. The woman standing awkwardly before him wasn't some stranger, not at all. It was someone Harm knew very well.

"Mac?" he questioned, his voice squeaking.

"Hi Harm."

**xxx**

**Review? The next chapter will be up soon, as it's mostly done.**

**Cupcakes for those who do.**


	22. Confrontations

**Title: Un Amor Tan Grande**

**Author: Rebecca**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**Summary: After one night together, Harm leaves, leaving Mac crushed. Not long later, she finds out that even though a 4 percent chance seemed small, they're actually bigger odds than she expected.**

**Author's Note: Crap! I told myself it wouldn't take this long to update. I'm so terribly sorry. RL just seemed to keep getting in the way. I do have the next few chapters planned and bits and pieces written out so it really shouldn't take too long to get this finished. It WILL be done by the end of the year though. I'm so so so so so (xinfinity) sorry. I know how frustrating it is when authors don't update their stories and I feel like a horrible person.**

**I'm terribly sorry.**

**xxx**

**Chapter 20: Confrontations.**

**xxx**

"I thought I could live in your arms,

And spend every moment I had with you,

Stay up all night with the stars,

Confess all the faith I had in you."

'_Three cheers for five years_' – Mayday Parade

**xxx**

"Hi Harm."

Having him so close to her after all this time made her heart stutter. His blue-grey eyes made it difficult for her to breathe. After so long wishing for him, longing for him, needing him, there he was. And now she couldn't help but second-guess herself. Could she sit down and talk to him? Could she **tell** him? Her insecurities had always made her run in the past, and this time seemed to be no different. She moved past Harm quickly, careful not to touch him. She ran out the door and across the street, all the while knowing that she was doing the wrong thing, but not having the courage to turn around and face him.

Usually, Harm would let her run. After all, he never wanted to ruin their friendship for what 'could be'. Yet this time, there was no friendship. Whatever relationship he had had with Mac had broken the moment the door had shut behind him that fateful night. Having her so close after all this time had made him realise that he couldn't lose her again. He loved her and he would do whatever it took to have her back in his life. So this time Harm couldn't let Mac run.

"Mac, wait!" he yelled as he ran after her. He caught up with her just around the corner of the diner and he grabbed her arm to fling her around to face him.

His touch sent Mac into a frenzy. Everything she ever felt for him came rushing to the surface, anger being at the forefront.

"No! I will **not** wait," she yelled back as him as she wrenched her arm from his grasp. "**You** left **me** remember? I thought we were finally on the same page. After years of dancing around, I thought we had reached the point where we were both ready to move forward in our relationship at the same time. But I guess I was wrong, huh? I mean, obviously I was, otherwise I wouldn't have woken up to a cold bed and an empty apartment."

"Mac-"

"I am** not** done! You know, waking up along hurt. But not nearly as much as having you abruptly disappear from my life with no goodbye. Oh but wait, there was a note. A fucking** note**, Harm. Well let me tell you now that a note just doesn't cut it. And then the Admiral tells me that you've requested a transfer, but he won't tell me where. I ask Webb, and what do you know? He won't tell me either. Nine years Harm. We've been best friends for nine years. It's nice to know what our friendship meant to you."

Words flowed from Mac's mouth and hot, angry tears slipped from her eyes. She couldn't believe that he had the audacity to follow her, to **touch** her. There was so much she wanted him to know, but words couldn't convey that much emotion. She finished her rant panting, her eyes glaring at him.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so so so so so unbelievably sorry, Mac. I…I panicked. I thought I had pressured you into it. I thought that the only reason you made love to me was because I made you believe it was the only way to keep me from hurting. So when I woke up and saw you sleeping peacefully next to me…" Harm sighed, rubbing his hands on his face. "I felt like I had betrayed your trust. I didn't want you to wake up and regret everything, and hate me for forcing you into that situation. I wasn't thinking clearly and I didn't realise that by running away, I was going to hurt you. I panicked. And once I had had time to think it all through, I instantly regretting running from you. There were so many times where I almost got on a plane back to you. But I thought that, even if you hadn't hated me before, you would definitely have hated me then."

"You just assumed, Harm. I just don't understand how after everything we'd been through, you wouldn't know how much I loved you. That I would've done everything and anything for you. I didn't make love to you because I pitied you, I did it because I loved you and you were hurting, and I would do **anything** to take that pain away. I woke up, ready to help you through Mattie's death, and then have us move forward together. But you weren't there. You disappeared from my life. I felt like I had taken advantage of you in your moment of need, and that you couldn't stand to look at me after that."

"Oh God, Mac. I really screwed up. I am so sorry."

"So am I," she answered, tears falling freely from her eyes.

"So, what happens now?" Harm asked quietly.

"I don't know. I really don't know."

Silence fell upon them in the darkened corner of the street.

**xxx**

**Let me know if you're still interested by reviewing.**


	23. Running in Circles

**Title: Un Amor Tan Grande**

**Author: Rebecca**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**Summary: After one night together, Harm leaves, leaving Mac crushed. Not long later, she finds out that even though a 4 percent chance seemed small, they're actually bigger odds than she expected.**

**Author's Note: The next chapter.**

**xxx**

**Chapter 21: Running in Circles**

**xxx**

"I guess I'm trying to say I'm sorry,

But it always comes out wrong.

I think a part of you still loves me,

Even though we're moving on.

Always, all ways I wanted us to be,

Always, all ways you and me."

'_Always, All Ways (Apologies, Glances and Messed Up Chances)'_ – LostProphets

**xxx**

"Let me spend the rest of my life making this up to you, Mac. Can't we try and move past this? Please?"

"What's the point, Harm?"

"We can work through this, Sarah. I've been an idiot, and a jerk, and an asshole…I don't want to be that anymore. I want to be the kind of man that deserves a beautiful woman like you. Now that you're right here, near me…I will not let you go again. Not without the fight of my life. I love you too much. You are the love of my life Sarah MacKenzie. Can you just, think about it? Please? Meet me at the diner tomorrow. We can talk through all of this pain and come out on the other side. Let me make this up to you. **Please**."

Mac sighed as she swiped at her tears with the back of her hands. Her heart was torn in two, the pieces pulling her in opposite directions. One half was telling her that their relationship had been tortured beyond belief, and that it's time to let go. And the other half was pleading with her to give their relationship another go. She's carrying his child and she owed it to her baby to try and work out her relationship with its father.

Mac swallowed hard and whispered her answer. "Okay."

**xxx**

Mac's thoughts zoomed in and out of her head throughout the walk home. As soon as she turned her attention to one thought, another ten would zoom in and try and take its place. She tried to find a solution, a way to mend the bridge between Harm and herself. But nothing seemed like it would work. She just wasn't sure that giving it another go would be the right thing to do.

Try as she might, Mac couldn't convince herself to have another shot at a relationship with Harm. But she also could not convince herself to let him go. She was stuck. She had no idea what she was going to do. Time seemed to be going too fast, and before she knew it she was home, had had a shower, and was in bed. Her thoughts never ceased.

Round and round and round and round again.

'Give him another go. _He'll only hurt you again_. You're having his child. _This baby would be better off with one stable parent than with two parents who will never be able to make it work._ Do you really think that? _Yes._ Really?'

Mac groaned loudly and buried her face in her pillow. She still couldn't believe it. She had spent every waking moment praying and hoping that she would see Harm again. Slowly, she had managed to build herself back up, and while she's only half of who she used to be, she was finally ready to take on life. Just her and her child. Without Harm. And that's when fate decides to deliver him to her. That bitch.

**xxx**

He itched. He itched to run to her and make her see how terribly wrong it would be to not given them one final go. But he knew that if he scratched that itch, he would lose any chance he had to win her back. And that was unacceptable.

He had looked right into her eyes. He saw the pain. The pain he had inflicted. The pain made his heart ache in regret. Walking out had been the most screwed up thing he had ever done in his life, which is saying a lot considering his life was one major screw up after another. He knew that he didn't deserve another chance with her. Even a saint would have a hard time putting their faith in him after all he had done. But he had had a taste of what life was without her, and he didn't want to go back to that again.

He was ready to do anything she asked. He would transfer out to San Diego, even if that meant a demotion. Hell, screw the demotion, he's give up the Navy if need be. All she had to do was say the word. Giving Mac so much power scared him. But he knew that it was the only way that she would forgive him.

He wanted it all with her. He wanted to marry her. He wanted to live in a beautiful house with the white picket fence. He wanted children with her. IVF. Surrogacy. Adoption. He wanted to parent with her, by any means possible. He wanted to be able to go to bed at night, with her wrapped in his arms, his face in her hair, his nose smelling her sweet scent. **Everything**.

He spent the night tossing and turning, thinking of ways that he could convince her that he would do his upmost to never hurt her again, only falling asleep once he could not hold his exhaustion at bay. In his dreams he saw himself cuddling with Mac on a cold winters day, watching a little girl with his looks and Sarah's brains playing on the floor.

**xxx**

**Another chapter down. Review me baby. Let me know if there's anything you would like them to discuss in their final conversation :) .**


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